PHL to TPE

See You on the Other Side (and Win a Contest, Too!)

2008-09-23T11:30:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned before, Rebecca has worked tirelessly to create a new blog for our family. She patiently withstood my persnickitiness and turned out a final product that is truly gorgeous. Thanks, Rebecca!

In a shameless attempt to drag as many of our readers over to the new site as possible, I'm giving away the following items: a hardcover copy of Chinese Children's Favorite Stories and a softbound edition of A Mother for Choco. Even better, a $50.00 donation will be given on the winner's behalf to the Morning Light Home, a home in Taiwan for children in need. Hop on over to our new blog, Anatomy of a Family, check out the new site, and enter the contest.

And now, dear readers, we come to an end. This is PHL to TPE's final post before I shut down the blog. Please do join us at our new site. You'll still get all the adoption-related stuff and more pictures of William than you shake a stick at. But you'll also get a peek into the lives of the rest of our family.

It's life's unpredictable twists and turns, the beautiful moments mixed in with the pratfalls. Come along on a new journey as Craig, Judy, Andrew, and William take on the world.

Who, Moi?

2008-09-22T11:58:00.016-04:00

I've won an award! Sara/Sofa, Milana's mom, has graciously bestowed upon me the following purple thing:

Hold up! Before the orchestra interrupts my 10.5 seconds of fame, I want to first and foremost thank my Savior, Jesus Christ, my husband, who is the epitome of the nice boy next door, my two beautiful sons, Andrew and William, the Mars Company for all the M&Ms, and... doh!

I think there was a mistake. If you read the qualifications for the award, you'll see the problem. Surely Sara/Sofa meant some other Judy. The one I know is unfailingly puffy-eyed, tired, and ever locked in a heightened state of PMS, pre- and post.

In case you're wondering, here are the Smile Award rules:
1. The recipient must link back the the award's creator
2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.
3. You must choose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself.
4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award.
5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient.
6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.
7. You must thank your giver.

Characteristics for the Smile Award:
1. Must display a cheerful attitude (not necessarily at all times--we are all human).
2. Must love one another.
3. Must make mistakes.
4. Must learn from others.
5. Must be a positive contributor to blog world.
6. Must love life.
7. Must love kids.

On the contrary, here are 5 people who actually do deserve to win the award:

A. over at Occupation: Mommy. Yeah, I have a teaching degree, too, but do I actually put it to use with my children like she does with hers? It would never occur to me do routine Montessori lessons with my child under 2. No wonder her three girls are brilliant. Besides being a top-notch educator/parent, A. always impresses me with her gentle spirit and easy going nature. (Please Sir, may I have some of that?) Oh, and the girl can sang...

D. at The Years Are Short. What I appreciate most about D. is her transparency. Not many people have the honesty to admit publicly that they get frustrated when their 4 year-old has difficulty recognizing letters of the alphabet (admit it, we've all been there in one way or another - but how many of us would say so?) Still, D. has the ability to make tending to lots of children, whether hers or others, look easy. Oh, and did I also mention that she is one fierce cook? I think I'll pretend to be gravely ill just so she can bring us by some more of her Thai Chicken Salad.

Tiffanie at Blessed with Sweet Peas. Tiffanie should win the award for Miss Congeniality among Taiwanese adoptive bloggers. The girl has sweetness oozing out of her. She always finds a way to see the proverbial glass as half-full. I've appreciated the honesty with which she has shared her recent experience meeting her new daughter, Gracyn. Her continual reliance upon Christ both inspires and challenges, and it definitely shines through in her recounting.

Heather at The Journey to Olivia. The most organized lady I know is also one of the friendliest people I've met in a long time. Even a stuck-in-the-rut introvert like me finds my tongue suddenly loosened when chatting with her. Also, most people wouldn't freely give up their weekends to take in a young girl so her widowed father could have a break. However, she does this every month. Hmm... does she love children? What do you think? Olivia, whoever you are (please make yourself known soon!), you will be very well-loved. You already are.

KB at Standing on God's Promises. What a shame that she moved out of my vicinity before I even had a chance to meet her in person! KB strikes me as a down-to-earth woman, someone who is open about her joys and frustrations, open to new experiences, and most impressively, open to letting Christ have his way in her life, though the path has not always been easy. She is a woman with a big, selfless heart. For all those things, she has my deepest admiration.

So, you 5, consider yourself hereby simultaneously awarded and spammed. Congratulations!

14 Months Old

2008-09-19T09:01:00.002-04:00

Happy 14 month-old birthday, Wonderchild.

Chinese or Bust

2008-09-16T09:43:00.002-04:00

If what I've been told is correct, children as young as William can learn a new word only after hearing it spoken 2-4 times. Children who are Andrew's age (4-6-ish) will need approximately 5-7 repetitions. Adults require a staggering 20-40 repetitions. If true, these figures present a compelling case to teach children a second language as early as possible.

For those who are interested in raising Mandarin-speaking children - or at the very least, kids who can pull off a decent Chinglish, here are some sites and resources to check out:

Language Immersion Camps:
The more I research these, the more I'm starting to rub my hands with glee at the thought of sending our boys to overnight camp when they're of age. They'll see see their Mandarin skills grow by leaps and bounds, make new friends, and... um, Mom and Dad finally get time to themselves for the first time in who knows how long.

Here are two that are look-worthy:

Middlebury-Monterey Language Academy in White River Junction, Vermont. This program is open to 7th through 12th graders for a few weeks in the summer. English is only allowed during certain parts of the day, so it's pretty much sink or swim when it comes to learning Mandarin.

Concordia Language Villages in Moorhead, Minnesota. This program sponsors weekend and full-week immersion programs for the whole family, as well as sleep-over camps for older children. Daytime immersion programs for children as young as 2 1/2 years old and up are also available.

Media Resources:
The Chinese school that the boys will be starting in this Saturday lists some Mandarin media resources on its website. There are links to children's DVDs, Chinese pop music CDs, online radio, and links to even get Chinese children's satellite television broadcast in your home. If you explore the site futher, you'll also see some useful links for learning Chinese and even typing it.

Local Chinese Schools:
This national directory lists schools in each state that have Chinese language programs. It is by no means comprehensive. You may do better to just Google "Chinese school - XYZ city" and see what you come up with. It's definitely worth visiting the school to make sure the curriculum, teachers, facility, and student population will be good matches for your child.

The End Is Near

2008-09-15T08:17:00.000-04:00

Warning: Rebecca, the genius behind PHL to TPE's current blog design, is at it again. I've commissioned Her Artistic Highness to create a new blog that will focus on our entire family. I'm thinking that it's time to move on. Yes, Sir William is truly a rock star in his own right, but there is more to the K. family than its newest member and over the last year and a half, the stories of its other three members have largely gone untold.

By the way, if you're in the market for a stylish blogover, do check out Rebecca's site, Uptown Design Studio. You can get the design you've always wanted and in the process, help bring home her beautiful toddler, Owen, who is currently in an orphanage in China.

In the meantime, prepare to be hit with so much bloggy fabulosity sometime over the next several days that you won't know what to do with yourselves.

Overheard

2008-09-12T08:53:00.001-04:00

Andrew to a fellow kindergartener: "Being a big brother is hard work."

Hey, no one said it would be easy.

Learn to Speak Chinese, Volume II

2008-09-08T20:38:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, we're trying our best to raise William to be as bilingual as my faltering Mandarin will allow. His comprehension, evidenced by his basic vocabulary and responses to our questions, shows that we're off to a good start. In the process, it has been really great to see how Andrew, who has been raised hearing English 95% of the time, has picked up pieces of the language.

However, I realize my limitations and know that a day will soon come when our conversations must move beyond, "Look, Mommy sees a big, white dog!" or "Who farted? Was it you?! It wasn't Mommy!" Since kids minds' are like sponges at this age, now is definitely the time to enroll the boys in Chinese school.

With William, there is an added incentive to learn. Unlike most adoptees from China, there is a very real possibility that he may be able to reconnect with his Taiwanese family one day. I have been following the blog of a young lady named Meiling, who herself was adopted from Taiwan by a Canadian family. She has made contact with her biological family and experiences a great deal of anguish over not being able to communicate effectively with them. While she is working hard to learn Mandarin, she has found the language difficult to pick up as a young twenty-something. I'm saddened for her and am reminded this may very well be William's reality one day.

Thus, I've been researching Chinese language schools in our area. Thankfully, we're blessed to have a few different options from which to choose. In fact, there is one that meets just a mile away on Sunday afternoons. As easy as it would be to get there, I've already nixed that choice. We're trying our best to keep Sunday as a day of rest and going to school is anything but relaxing.

Plus, looking through the website and having spoken to a representative of the school, it strikes me as a very traditional program, much like the one I attended for about 7 years of my younger life. The children are predominantly first generation Chinese-American. Many of them have the advantage of speaking and/or understanding spoken Mandarin. The families all "match." Browsing through the photos on their website, it's hard to spot adoptees or any Hapa children. I don't want my kids feeling like anomalies. As it is, there are already too many threats against our children's self-esteem in the world. I don't need to pay for another one.

Another school that has caught my eye is located about 25 minutes away. Its student population seems to have a broader representation of adoptees, mixed-race children, and non-Asian kids. Its language immersion classes encourage parent participation so that the children aren't the only ones learning. The school also offers classes to children as young as one year-old, so both William and Andrew could attend.

However, the classes and homework stress the use of a lot of Mandarin DVD watching. Since William is not yet a big fan of television, I don't know how well this will go over. I don't want to force him to watch t.v. just so he can do his "homework." The school also meets on Saturday mornings, thereby obviating any possibility of Andrew joining any Saturday morning sports teams. Sorry, Andrew. I guess that's what middle school sports teams are for.

I figure we'll try out the latter school when it starts up two weekends from now. If it's not a good fit, we may consider rounding up some local families with adoptees and/or Hapa kids and hiring a tutor to teach them. I might look into some of the nearby universities to see if there are any students there who speak both English and Mandarin fluently (growing up, I found those Chinese teachers who couldn't speak English well to be less credible). I want a candidate whose experience includes working with young children, someone who is energetic and creative. Learning the language must be fun.

Whatever we opt to do, I know that we need to strike while the iron is still hot. By the time our kids become tweens, they may very well start to complain about giving up their free time to learn Mandarin. Who wants more homework, anyway? They may just want to "fit in" with everyone else and not have to sacrifice their weekends for something that stresses their differences.

But for now, while their minds are young and pliable, they are under Mommy's dictatorial thumb, and Mommy says it's off to Chinese school with them.

They Just Keep Coming

2008-09-08T19:16:00.000-04:00

We went out to a local Chinese restaurant the other night. At the end of the meal, we cracked open our fortune cookies just for fun. I don't know about you, but I don't place much value in less-than-pithy messages that have been pre-fabbed by some bloke at a bakery. Still, I find it fun to read what's inside.

While Craig, Andrew, and I all received the generic message about good things coming to those who wait, William's cookie yielded the message to the left. Considering all the predictions made about him, I guess it's just par for the course. Ah well, it could have been worse.

Speaking of good things coming to those who wait, Lucy and Noah have now been united with their families. Congratulations to the M. and S. families!

Early Autumn

2008-09-06T07:43:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that in the midst of a muggy, 85 degree September day, the leaves were already falling. It looks like my favorite season has arrived early.

While the boys manned the rakes and made a leaf pile (William's efforts lasted a valiant 25 seconds), I went nuts on the camera. Here are some photos from the afternoon:

6 Months Home and Proud as Can Be

2008-09-03T12:46:00.000-04:00

When Andrew first learned how to roll over as an infant, I swore the heavens would part and a dove would descend with an offer for a Fulbright scholarship grasped in its beak. On that day, I was so full of pride that I immediately emailed the grandparents to proclaim the good news. I would've shared it with more people if Andrew hadn't interrupted me with one of his colicky fits. Good thing it was because I'm sure I would have caused many folks to roll their eyes and snort behind my back.

Stop and think for a moment: why is it that many of us get turned off by braggartly parents? To take pride in our children's accomplishments is only natural; after all, they are our kids and we delight in seeing them grow. We cheer with them when they succeed because we're madly in love with them. There's nothing wrong there.

On the other hand, the cynical side of me suspects that we sometimes take undue credit for their achievements. After all, our kids - at least the biological ones - bear our genetic imprint. It's so easy to flatter ourselves in light of their progress, even though their accomplishments have little to do with our parenting and everything to do with the grace of God. We can so easily wrap our identities and self-worth in what our children can and cannot do.

Considering William is of no blood relation to me, it's much easier for me to look at his development and to see the hand of God at work. Hubris doesn't - can't - get in the way. Looking back on the last 6 months William has been with us, God really has done a lot. And in that, I take great pride.

(Now say the following in your best, booming Charlton Heston voice:)

"Behold - the hand of God..."

Walking. Every day, William walks further and further. You can witness the difference for yourself in the video below. Compared to the video 3 posts ago, he's gaining more distance and now walks about 60% of the time, crawling the other 40%. Whenever he falls, he fusses, not because he hurt himself, but out of frustration. He wants so badly to walk well.

He is also getting proficient at turning as he walks and can even pull himself up to a standing position without support. What a far cry from the slithering baby we brought home 6 months ago.

Talking. To date, we've counted a vocabulary of 8 words: "Ma," Da," "Gege," "Andrew," "Gou" (dog), "Dien deng" (light), "truck," and "Elmo." I don't suppose that "woof!" counts as 9? I'm surprised William has picked up this many words at 13 months since we are trying our best to raise him bilingual. From what I've read, many children who are raised to speak two languages often experience delays in picking up any vocabulary simply because they have twice the number of words to learn.

Comprehension. In tandem with his newfound speaking ability, it has been wonderful to see William beginning to understand the things we tell him. From time to time, he still tries to bang on the television when Andrew is watching, but at least he now understands the meaning of "no." You can see the comprehension register in the thoughtful look on his face and the "Should I? or Shouldn't I?" glances back and forth at the t.v. Of course, this doesn't mean he always obeys but the fact that he often does is something to shout about.

In other news, William has learned to hold his own bottle. When he finally figured it out, he was so proud of himself. Weeks later, he still sets his bottle down just to cheer and clap for himself. He's also getting better at using a fork.

There's so much more to report but I'll save it for another time. I'm aware that even adoptive parents can begin to sound obnoxiously proud after a point. And anyhow, I think I hear the sound of fluttering bird wings descending from somewhere above. Excuse me while I go check.

Double the Warm Fuzzies

2008-09-03T11:45:00.000-04:00

In the mood for some feel-good stories? Then follow along as Jackie and Tami travel to Taiwan tomorrow to get their children, Lucy and Noah. You may remember those two from earlier posts. Their families will meet at St. Lucy's on the same day. From that point on, life as they know it will never be the same.

I am simply delighted for these families. They have both waited so long and experienced so many emotional twists and turns. To witness the culmination of their waiting will be truly satisfying.

I am also thrilled for the children. While they may be in for some dramatic transitions after leaving St. Lucy's, nothing can beat the nurture of a families who've waited so long to receive them with open arms. They are so loved already.

Finally, I'm thrilled to report that, with Lucy's and Noah's departures, all of William's roommates who shared space with him from September 2007 through March 2008 will have gone home to their families. There may be others who are still there (I desperately hope not, but if their families are out there and haven't yet come across my radar, please leave a comment below; I'd love to get in touch).

Until then, it's of great solace and joy to me to witness the "graduation" of William's last two roommates. I wish them all the blessings and fullness of Christ.

Gracyn Goes Home

2008-08-30T14:45:00.001-04:00

I know it's been posts-aplenty today, but I want to take the time out to root for Tiffanie, who is currently in Taiwan right now picking up her 2 year-old daughter, Gracyn. Gracyn has been living with a foster family in Pingdong, my mother's hometown. Her new family has waited a long, long, long time for her case to exit the courts, so their rejoicing is doubly great.

If your'e a fan of Meeting Day stories like I am, hop on over to her blog and follow the action as their family of three goes one up.

Out of the Office

2008-08-30T14:01:00.001-04:00

We just returned from a week away in the Adirondack Mountains with Craig's siblings, parents, and grandmother. For more than 50 years, his family has spent every summer there in a small cabin community by a lake. Continuing the tradition, William took his first dip in the water and wouldn't you know? He loved it.

Thanks to Aunties Kaity and Christine for taking some of the great photos above.

Walk the Walk

2008-08-20T13:03:00.000-04:00

Over the last few weeks, William has started taking his first steps. I won't officially declare him walking as he still prefers to get around on all fours. But with every day, he is making progress. He took a record 8 steps earlier this morning.

Here's a little video of him right after lunchtime.

He has truly come a long way from the baby we met almost 6 months ago. Do you remember the little guy who used to slither about on his tummy and couldn't yet sit up? Looking at William now, I barely can.

Scuba Man Meets Mr. Mouth

2008-08-19T06:35:00.000-04:00

Yes, yes, I know you're not supposed to let young children put inedible objects in their mouths. And if they do, you're supposed to swoop in with the intensity and precision of a SWAT team and extract said slimed item. I have the routine down pat as I do it at least three to four times daily.

However, on the day that William decided to nibble on the helmet of Andrew's Rescue Hero scuba diver, I couldn't resist delaying for a photo op. The helmet was too large to get lodged in his throat anyway.

Heh, heh, heh... just add a mangy hairdo and a 70's inspired suit and William could play the role of the Joker's baby in the next Batman sequel.

Happy 13 month-old birthday, you silly boy.

Twice Adopted

2008-08-12T09:08:00.000-04:00

This morning, the four of us got all gussied up and headed to court. Ahh... litigious American society. Thankfully, our case was one of the few consisting of a happy nature. I'm delighted to report that as of today, William has been officially re-adopted in the United States.

William automatically became a U.S. citizen upon our adoption of him. However, he came home on an IR-4 visa, requiring that we re-adopt him in order to guarantee him an American birth certificate. The process will also make certain things like changing his name, getting a social security card, and even qualifying for college loans much easier.

The procedure lasted less than ten minutes. I was called up to the witness stand (what a creepy experience!) to answer some simple questions. I had to think extra hard when the friendly judge asked me for my age. Apparently, time and sleep deprivation have robbed me of brain cells.

William held up like a champ despite having missed his morning nap to be in court. He played the part of cute, compliant baby very well. Afterwards, the judge invited us up to the stand for a family picture with him. I'd show it to you but I don't know if Your Honor wants his picture on some random family's blog. Afterwards, we headed to Friendly's to chow down on some celebratory pancakes.

I must note that we owe a tremendous debt of thanks to our friend, Paul, a local attorney who was kind enough to take on our case pro-bono. He, along with his wife, Heather, are inching very close to receiving the referral of a daughter from Taiwan. We can't wait to find out who William's newest friend will be. Whoever she is, she will certainly have two top-notch parents. Thanks, Paul!

Bring Him Home

2008-08-10T14:02:00.000-04:00

See the picture to the left? I think you all know who the cutie patootie lying on the floor is. The handsome fellow sitting behind him is Noah, William's roommate from St. Lucy's. While there five months ago, I recall seeing Noah and being taken with his serious face and bright, sincere eyes.

Noah is just weeks away from meeting his anxiously awaiting family. His parents, Tami and Bobby, are fundraising like crazy to meet the deadline. He has been waiting over 9 months for this day.

Please take a moment to check out their blog and read more about this beautiful boy. If you click on the link on the sidebar of our blog, you can make a contribution. Most importantly, you can make this family's dream a reality.

All the News That's Fit to Print

2008-08-08T09:02:00.000-04:00

Long time, no blog. For those of you who are wondering, here's the latest news from Williamworld:

Now You See Us, Now You Don't: Over the past couple of weeks, we've been working on acclimating William to the church nursery. At the recommendation of our adoption pediatrician, we waited until he was 1 year old to start. Unlike leaving him in weekly daycare, the once-a-week nursery visits don't occur with enough regularity for him to get used to be left alone in an environment reminiscent of an orphanage.

We've kept him with us during the singing portion of the service, then have tried to leave him in the nursery for progressively longer 15 minute increments. We'd hang out with him for a while, then say a quick goodbye. Sometimes he would let us leave with no protest, sometimes he'd unleash the waterworks as he did with Craig the previous week.

I'm happy to report that last week was William's first successful week alone during the whole sermon time. He was so happy to see me that he did a semi-jump into my arms and squeezed me as tightly as his little arms could muster. Score one for bonding!

This Fish Has Gone to Heaven. About a year and a half ago, we purchased three goldfish for Andrew. He named one Franklin and the other two Franklin's Mom and Franklin's Dad. Two of them have since passed. Since they all looked alike to me, I couldn't tell who had survived. Several days ago, Fish #3 departed for the pearly gates via the commode (shhh... don't tell Andrew). William really loved looking at the lone fish swimming about in his tank. He'd get very excited at the "Yu" and would slap at the aquarium glass, scaring the poor fish. Swim free, #3, swim free.

Gimme Three Steps: I won't call it walking just yet. It was more like not realizing he was moving from the glider ottoman to his nightstand in three quick steps. Andrew and I gave William a hearty round of applause and he received it shamelessly, clapping for himself and cheering, "Yaaaaaay!" He's done this a few times over the last couple of days but overall, the m.o. still comes down to crawling along on all fours.

The Book Is Finished! Sadly, I don't mean my novel, though I have been making some slow progress on it lately. The photobook which we had sent off to be printed and bound for William's biological mom was shipped back to us. Overall, I am very pleased with how it turned out.

We ordered two copies, one to send to Taiwan and one to keep for ourselves. Gracyn's mom, Tiffanie, who is on her way to Taiwan in just a few weeks, has graciously offered to transport a copy to St. Lucy's for us. If you have a free moment, hop on over to her blog and cheer for her soon-to-expand family.

Bottle Boot Camp: I decided this morning that it was high time for William to learn how to hold his bottle and sippy cup by himself. I'm told that the caretakers at St. Lucy's would prop up the bottles for the babies who wouldn't/couldn't hold them by themselves. You'd think that a good eater like William would be the first to learn to hold his own, but alas, no.

William was none too pleased about the new policy. He couldn't get the hang of tipping the bottle upwards to get the milk flowing down into his mouth. Every once in a while, he'd get it right, but for the most part, it was I trying to prop his elbows up high while he gripped the bottle. There was a lot of crying and a lot of spilled milk. We definitely have our work cut out for us. It's Mommy vs. William in the battle of the bottle. Who will triumph and who will be left in tears?

The Early Bird Makes Nice (for Now): You know that feeling of being so tired it feels like you've been punched in the head a couple of times? So do we, thanks to our little early riser. For the past few months, William was in the habit of waking between 5:00 to 6:00 a.m.

This past week has seen a welcome shift in his wake time. He has arisen between 6:00 - 6:45 a.m. God be praised! What a difference an extra 30 - 45 minutes of sleep can make.

By the way, if you happen to know when Daylight Savings Time falls, please don't tell me. I don't want to know. Let me just savor the feeling of being able to get through the days without that fuzzy-headed feeling.

Human Hoover

2008-07-31T20:52:00.000-04:00

I am flabbergasted. I have never seen a young child eat so much in my life.

Yesterday, I decided to take the boys to Ikea for an impromptu lunch while out running errands together. Once we made it through the checkout line, I carried the heavy tray laden with our lunch plates. Andrew followed behind me, doing his best to push William in his stroller.

The moment William caught sight of the food on the tray, he began frantically squealing, "Heeeee! Heeeee! Heeeee!" Finding a table near a row of highchairs was trickier than I thought, so he "Heeee! Heeee'd!" for quite some time as we wound our way around the tables.

I couldn't buckle him into the highchair quickly enough (actually, I couldn't buckle him at all; the seatbelt wouldn't fit). The elderly couple nearby was laughing at the site of desperate William shrieking away for food. Once we were situated, I couldn't scoop the macaroni and cheese and fruit onto his tray quickly enough. By meal's end, he had wolfed down a scoop of mac and cheese as large as my fist, three Swedish meatballs, some of my mashed potatoes, at least 10 chunks of melon, and some milk. He never paused once. I'm sure he wanted more, but I had run out of food.

The other day when my parents were in town, we were driving home from the local Asian grocery store. I had bought the kids some fish-shaped pancakes with red bean filling. My mom was eating one in the backseat next to the kids. When she looked the other way, William snatched it out of her hand and started eating it. Incidentally, she and my dad have a nickname for him: Xiao Pangze, Little Chubby.

I know I should count myself blessed to have a child with such a hearty appetite. So many parents struggle with just getting their toddlers to take a bite of anything. However, part of me wonders how much of his voraciousness stems from the 6 months he spent in an orphanage. I'd venture to guess that St. Lucy's Center is probably one of the best facilities in all of Asia. I'd also venture to guess that William is a naturally good eater, but having to continually watch other babies get spoonfed while he waited likely brought out the extreme reaction I sometimes see in him. Three staffers can only get bottles to hungry babies so quickly.

If my theory is true, I pray that time and love will reassure William that we won't fail to feed him and attend to his basic needs. Hopefully he'll figure this out by the time he's 16 because I can't imagine feeding a teenaged son who at the age of 1 year old eats like Human Hoover.

Counting the Cost

2008-07-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

Hip, hip, hooray! We have successfully weaned William off of formula and on to cow's milk. I cheer not only because mixing formula can at times be a pain in the neck, but because our weekly expenditures have dropped by some $20.00.

Naive that I was, I had never expected to have to shell out so much money for infant formula. Andrew was primarily breastfed for his first thirteen months since he refused to take a bottle throughout most of his infancy. What little formula we did have to use came free, courtesy of the salespeople who frequented my dad's medical office. The whole time I never guessed that one 25.7 oz. can of Nestle Good Start* would run me $24.99 every 5-7 days. Thankfully, we only had to formula feed for four months.

We still have William drinking out of a bottle. Previously, the evil sanctimommy in me would have jumped on my soapbox and lambasted the current me for keeping my one year-old on a bottle instead of transitioning him to a cup. However, these are different times and this is a different child. William has undergone so much change in under five months. Having just moved him off of formula, I think we'll wait a while longer to make the switch to a cup. I don't want to rip the rug out from under his feet by taking away from him everything that is familiar.

Here's another thing I hadn't thought about: laundry. Of course I knew that my weekly loads would increase, but I hadn't figured they'd go up by that much. Already into the third day of the week, I have done four loads. I anticipate having to do another two in a few more days. I know those of you with 3+ kids are laughing at me and thinking, "Aww, that's nothing!" I just never anticipated that a (relatively) little guy like William could put such a spike in the weekly wash.

Finally, we come to the part where I'm supposed to quit whining and say that when I look at our precious William, it's all worth it and I'd wash 10 more loads on his behalf. So, there you have it. I said it - and I honestly mean it.

* Incidentally, Nestle Good Start is the brand our adoption pediatrician recommended we use because, according to her research, it has the most optimal casein to whey protein ratio, making it easier for babies with digestive problems to consume. That being noted, if you act now and buy one SuperGutDustBuster, I'll throw in three free with a bonus attachment. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming...

"Child of the Covenant

2008-07-27T17:41:00.000-04:00

... and a heavy one, too!" were the words our pastor used to describe William as we handed him over to be baptized this past Sunday.

He held up like a champ when Pastor Terry took a big scoop of water and doused his little head. Considering the boy has no fear of water (well, except perhaps for oceans), we didn't anticipate any resistance. His face registered some confusion over getting an apparent hairwash at 11 a.m., but once the shock wore off, he took everything in stride.

William had the privilege of sharing his baptismal day with his two year-old friend, Anant. You may remember that Anant was adopted from India just days before we picked up William in Taiwan. The two were the very picture of cute as they reached across the stage to hold each others' hands.

Some of you may wonder why we would go through all the hassle just to watch our dolled-up son get drenched in public. We believe that baptism is a public profession of our intent to teach our son about God's love and saving grace for him. It's also a promise on our parts to do all that we can to influence him toward a faith in Jesus Christ. We don't believe the act of baptism makes William a Christian; at some point, like everyone else, he will have to make that decision for himself. However, we owe it to William to do what we can to share with him the great hope and strength that we have found in Jesus.

After the baptism, we all headed back to our house for a lunch. Thunderstorms forced us to eat a brief part of our meal in the dark, but power was soon restored. We send a big shout out to all our family for traveling from near and far to celebrate the special day with us. Thanks, too, to my sister, Sherry, for taking all the great photos above. Finally, thanks be to God for his covenant promises of faithfulness and love to the sweet boy with whom he has entrusted us.

Party Like You're One Year-Old

2008-07-26T21:59:00.000-04:00

The one year-old birthday festivities continued this weekend with a joint party for both William and Andrew. Four generations of family members gathered at our home this afternoon for a cookout.

One highlight of the afternoon was watching William enjoy his first bite of cake. The ginormous stacked delight was homemade by his adoptive grandmother, Nana, from a recipe that is now three generations old. Nana also made Andrew's first birthday cake. Growing up, Craig celebrated his birthdays with the same cake, prepared at the time by his Grandma Mc. Thus, it was truly special to see the tradition continued for our newest family member. Oh - and surprise! William loved it.

Also noteworthy was seeing my mom's delicious made-from-scratch dumplings on the menu alongside J. Bacynsky's unbeatable kielbasa, brought all the way from New York City courtesy of my sister, Sherry. I love the mashup of cultures and all that it represents.

The last time our two families gathered together was a year ago for Andrew's fourth birthday. If you've been following PHL to TPE since its infancy, you may remember that that was the day we publicly announced our intention to adopt. It truly is amazing to be on the other side of the wait and to be holding our answer to our prayer. Thank you God, for rounding out our family with not one, but two of the most special boys in all of creation.

12 Month Checkup

2008-07-25T22:05:00.000-04:00

Who doesn't love a good set of chunky baby legs? You'll note this particular model comes with extra rolls around the knees and reinforced ankles. Squeeze value is guaranteed.

These gloriously chubby legs and the rest of the charming baby to whom they belong weighed in at 23 lbs. and 11 oz. at today's 12 month-old well-visit.

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the numbers come up on the scale. I had anticipated William to weigh at least 25 lbs. Either way, he remains squarely in the 70th percentile for Western children, no change from his 9 month-old appointment.

William measured in at 31 1/2 inches tall, placing him in the 90th percentile. At this rate, he is on track to become the tallest person in our family. And who says Asians are short?

I'm happy to report that 45 minutes and 4 vaccinations later, William checked out healthy. Healthy, happy, and squishy - I couldn't ask for anything more.

Up and Away

2008-07-22T13:12:00.001-04:00

Here are some pictures from our family kite-flying outing this past Sunday. Unfortunately, there wasn't much William could do other than point at the kites, then decide he had his fill of watching colorful fabric flapping around in the wind.

I am reminded of our last post-placement visit with our social worker two months ago. As part of her routine questioning, she asked, "So, what kinds of activities do you do together as a family?" That question gave me pause because frankly, there aren't that many things we can do together in which everyone - including 1 year-old William - can be actively involved. Fortunately, she has children herself and understands the complexity involved.

Speaking of reports, our next post-placement report is due in two months. Our final report is due in March 2009 when William will have been with us for a whole year. Then - hallelujah! - we can finally put to rest all of the formalities of the adoption and carry on with our lives together like any typical family.

One Year Wonderful

2008-07-20T10:13:00.000-04:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, yesterday was the day. William officially entered the world of toddlerhood when he turned one year old at 12:50 a.m.

He started off the day bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 5:15 a.m., his new trend. Though we weren't feeling half as spry, we still managed to pack the car, turn his carseat to face forward for the first time (you should have seen the bewildered look on his face), and hit the road.

To make the day extra special for him, we decided to take him to one of the world's biggest swimming pools: the Atlantic Ocean. We figured he would have a blast since he loves bathtime and going to the pool. What's a couple billion gallons of water more?

Unfortunately, the massive scale of the water, its frigid temperature (it was 95 degrees yesterday!), and the unfamiliar feel of so much sand made him uneasy. You can see him looking hesitant in many of the pictures above. Eventually he worked up the nerve to crawl on the sand with his rear end sticking up so his knees wouldn't touch the ground.

Later, we headed to a local pizzeria. There, William noshed on a mushroom slice and had his first taste of french fries (the corruption begins young). He was in all his glory in the presence of three of his favorite things: food, music - you should have seen him bopping along to Gwen Stefani on the house radio - and plenty of ceiling fans at which to point and gawk. If we had known lunchtime would've been the highlight of his trip, we could've saved ourselves the 5 hours roundtrip drive and visited our local pizza shop!

Both boys were conked out on the drive home.

Next weekend, the birthday festivities continue with a proper party. Family members are driving in from near and far, many of them as much as 5 to 7 hours away. We'll have a family gathering for both boys that will be more weighted toward William since Andrew already had a kids-only party. The next day, William will be baptized at our church. We would've liked to have held both events this weekend but couldn't move the baptism date. Either way, we are glad we'll have so many family members there to celebrate both big events.

In the meantime, the realization still hasn't set in that our baby is 1 year-old. Can you believe it?

Happy birthday, sweetie. We love you very much and are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Meet My First-Born Son. And Meet My Other.

2008-07-16T08:15:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I get a good chuckle when I consider that I am the mother of two first-born sons. Come again? What's the likelihood of that?

You know the common stereotypes about birth order: Child #1 is motivated and bossy. #2 is both conciliatory and competetive, perhaps a rebel. #3 alternates between being an even-keeled crusader and an insecure left-out. #4 is a risk-taking dreamer who may be spoiled.

According to an article in Time Magazine, some additional distinctives of first born children include greater intelligence, an increase in height, better healthcare, and higher salaries than their subsequent siblings. Considering the unusual circumstance of both being firstborn, I wonder how much Andrew and William's firstborn identities will have an impact. To what extent will biology trump environment?

I tend to think that most of the birthorder stereotypes are environmentally driven rather than the result of genetics. Already, I find that I expect much more of Andrew simply because he is older and "should know better." Could my expectations eventually motivate him to grow into a leader? Perhaps. Will I go lax on William because he is the youngest child whom I'll want to baby continually? I hope not, but I've seen it happen repeatedly in families I've observed and realize I am not immune to the weaker tendencies of the human heart.

(Incidentally, William's adoptive status may also make me want to spoil him. According to research, many adoptive parents tend to lavish just a bit more attention on their children than biological parents. After waiting so long for their kids - in some cases, enduring the agony of infertility - and after pursuing the adoption with such purpose and having to make such proactive efforts to forge a bond, spoiling can sometimes be a side effect.)

For now, stereotypes be dashed. William appears to be going toe for toe with Andrew when it comes to both smarts and height at his age. He may even be a little taller than Andrew was at one year old. Considering he has a very tall birthgrandmother whom he resembles, he may eventually win that race. As for motivation, well, it can be hard to stop William from going after what he wants, especially when that something is food that has fallen on the floor. (Ask me sometime about the pasta salad that I spilled all over the floor this afternoon.) And as for being wealthier? If the fortune cookies have anything to do with it, Andrew will be asking William for a loan one day.

So, nature or nurture? In the end, only time will tell. I surely can't.

Death by Peekaboo and Other Tales

2008-07-14T04:31:00.000-04:00

Here's a sample of what's been going on in William World lately:

- William has begun cruising along furniture. It's slow going, but it's a start towards walking. He is also beginning to get the hang of walking when held by one hand.

- Sadly, he has also figured out how to climb stairs and is drawn to them like a pig to mud. We've now got so many gates by our stairs that getting upstairs to grab that one thing we forgot is harder than trying to break and enter the Oval Office.

- It's all Mommy Dearest lately. I'm trying to take it as a sign of healthy attachment that William has a strong preference for me nowadays. Other people can hold him, but woe if he sees me. It's his cue to stretch those chubby arms outwards, to screw up his little face, and to begin the pleading whine. Ergo baby carrier, work your magic!

- Just 5 more days and William turns 1 year old! Wahhh... I can't technically call him a baby anymore.

- And finally, oh, that peekaboo... Andrew received a Cranium fort builder set for his birthday (on clearance now at Toys 'R Us for $21.00!). Not only does it keep Gege happily occupied, it provides an excellent place for Didi to play his favorite game. If you never thought a round of peekaboo could kill someone with laughter, you haven't met William. I thought I was going to have to call 911 the first couple of times. He's not cracking up anywhere as hard as he initially was, but you get the idea in the video below.

The First Decade

2008-07-11T04:23:00.000-04:00

Today marks our tenth wedding anniversary. On July 11, 1998, Craig and I said "I do" in New York City and locked ourselves into a lifelong commitment to love, serve, and protect the other.

In an era of rocky relationships and uncertain marriages, I am especially thankful to have married a man who remains as mature, dependable, funny, and integrous as he did ten years ago. Here's to many, many more years, Bear. Together, may we wind up wizened and wheezy as we creak away on our front porch rocking chairs.

(By the way, I Googled "traditional wedding gifts" and found that one decade of marriage only garners a gift of tin. Tin? As ceremony goes, it's just one level up from a chunk of concrete. That being said, you may now send your scraps of tin to the following address...)

Addendum: Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes. I did not receive a gift of tin, thankfully. What I did receive was much more sparkly, heh, heh, heh.

As Craig and I were leaving to go out for a dinner date, Andrew wished me a "Happy Universary!" and told me, "You look nice in your costume." (I was wearing a black dress with pearls). I'll take this to mean I need to dress up more often.

Monkey Turns 5

2008-07-09T04:33:00.000-04:00

The best big brother in the world turns 5 years old today. We love you, Andrew, and thank God for the blessing you are. We admire your gentle heart, your matchless exuberance, your super silliness, and lately, the love you have expressed for Jesus. Happy birthday, Special Monkey.

Good News Worth Getting Locked Out For

2008-07-08T21:10:00.001-04:00

Having been locked outside of our home for one hot, muggy hour today with two young children, I was relieved to come inside and be deluged with good news from several St. Lucy's families.

Jackie, Lucy's mom, just received word that her daughter's adoption case is finally on the verge of entering the court system. In a unique and trying twist, they waited 9 1/2 months for closure on Lucy's guardianship case. Their whole family deserves a medal for tremendous endurance.

Tiffanie received a first decree on the adoption of her daughter, Gracyn and will likely receive a travel date soon. At this rate, Gracyn should be home to celebrate her second birthday.

After 5 weeks of uncertainty, Sarah W. and K.B. finally received approval from St. Lucy's to adopt their children, Hannah Claire and Andrew. Their cases will soon enter the courts for what will hopefully be a shorter wait than the typical 3-6 months.

All of this comes on top of Marina and Lora's big news. They finally met their daughters, Sarah and Allie this week at St. Lucy's.

Need I say it's fantastic to see so many of William's roomates making such great progress towards coming home?

One Year Old and All Is Well

2008-07-03T22:05:00.000-04:00

We've been a bit occupied here in the K. household. Free time, which constitutes the hours of 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m., has been occupied with pulling together an update package for William's birthmom. We plan to send it shortly after his first birthday on July 19th.

Although she only requested a pictorial update on each birthday, I want to do everything I humanly can to fill in the gaps for her and to reassure her that William is happy, thriving, and well-cared for. In short, I'm doing what I'd want someone else to do for me if I had just permanently handed over my baby to a family I didn't know. Considering the overwhelming emotional toll she has had to endure, something tells me that my best efforts will always fall short of satisfying her need for assurance.

Nonetheless, I've tried. There is first and foremost the very long letter. I stuck my poor parents with the gnarly task of translating all four, single-spaced pages. On them are details on everything imaginable. There are the mundane facts about his food preferences and sleeping habits to anecdotes about his peeing on the doctor and how the sound of flip flops slapping on the ground makes him laugh hysterically. Hopefully she'll read the letter and see glimpses of herself in the child he has become. Hopefully those connections will bring a smile to her face.

I've also compiled a photobook for her that currently has 55 pages of pictures. I'm not finished yet. (You can never have too many photos, right?) The pages will span the period from when she first held William at St. Lucy's all the way up to his first birthday party and baptism, to be celebrated on July 26th and 27th respectively. If I can get my act together in time, I'm also planning on including a short video.

Finally, we'll be sending over a set of questions we hope she will answer. While we did get responses from her to the first set of questions we sent last December, we have no answers for the second set we sent over soon before we traveled to Taiwan. She had made her last visit to St. Lucy's just a week before the questions arrived.

Needless to say, we really hope to get some responses this time. I fear that the answers may be harder to obtain as more time passes. While we really hope that William's birthmom will want to keep in contact with him throughout his life - if he also desires contact - we know this is something we can't necessarily expect.

For now, it's up to us to keep the trail of information "hot" on his behalf. We have what appears to be her address and phone number and it would be so easy and tempting to just pick up the phone and call her... but to do so would be to breach her privacy in a very serious way. We are then left with the tin can telephone route of contacting each other through St. Lucy's, then through our agency, which is better than nothing. At the end of the day, we have to be grateful that a) William still has a birthmother and b) unlike in many international adoption cases, we could probably contact her if the situation warranted it.

But I digress. St. Lucy's staff, if you're out there in cyberspace and reading this, please be on the lookout for a package from us. It comes with all of our fondest wishes, respect, and gratitude for William's birthmom, as well as a big hug and kiss for her from everyone's favorite one year-old-to-be.

Walk on the Wild Side

2008-07-01T08:20:00.000-04:00

"Hey, Babe... Take a walk on the wild side."

Lou Reed's words echoed in my head as the boys and I meandered through a local zoo yesterday morning. William was very interested in gazing at all the animals, or at least what he could see of them through the wire and wooden barriers. He even got to feed a piece of an ice cream cone (provided by the zoo) to a goat in the petting barn.

Unfortunately, I didn't get many good pictures of him next to the animals except for this one of him trying to grab at a prickly, miniature hedgehog. There's a reason the handler is wearing thick gloves, dear child.

Hey, You

2008-06-30T08:34:00.000-04:00

Yes, You. While there are several PHL to TPE readers who are themselves adoptive parents or parents-to-be, there are many who aren't. You may be family members. You may be friends. You may have stumbled onto our blog through some other means.

Whoever you are, I suspect that some of you are curious about adoption. When you read blogs such as ours, a light goes on somewhere in your heart. The fact that there are a suspected 100 million orphaned children worldwide tugs at you. When you come across adoptive families, you think, "Hmm, I just might be able to see myself in that scenario one day."

I firmly believe that a) not everyone is meant to adopt a child, however, b) God does put a call on the hearts of many people to do so, whether Christian or not, c) some of those who are being called aren't picking up the phone.

If you are one of those people who have been lurking and reading, well, there's no shame in that. However, if you are one of those people I described above, I encourage you to take the next step. Do some research on domestic or international adoption. Some great places to start are adoption.com, rainbowkids.com, and the U.S. Department of State website. If you're the kind of person who finds inspiration in real, human stories, check out this massive list of adoption blogs (they are Taiwan-specific).

I sincerely challenge you to act on your curiosity. Who knows but that it might lead to something and someone who will change your world in ways so beautiful you never thought possible?

Coin-O-Matic Baby

2008-06-28T16:31:00.000-04:00

Directions:

Step 1: Affix baby with mosquito-bitten face to exercise ball.

Step 2: Pat the ball furiously.

Step 3: Wonder what kinds of peculiar behaviors you might have engaged in as a young child.

Goodbye, Hello!

2008-06-27T23:07:00.000-04:00

I am thrilled for Yvonne, Marina, and Lora, who travel to Taiwan over the next several days to pick up their children, Lachlan, Sarah, and Allie. Lachlan is in foster care and Sarah and Allie hail from William's old haunt, St. Lucy's Center in Tainan. Congratulations to the soon-to-be expanded families. I wish them the safest of travels, the most memorable of first encounters, the smoothest of transitions, and many good nights of sleep going forward.

Vampire Jr.

2008-06-25T14:07:00.001-04:00

You know the phrase, "Once bitten, twice shy?" Lately, I've grown to understand the sentiment behind that saying very well.

William's teething has really run amok, and he has now taken to biting me randomly. This morning, I sustained a bite to my thigh (good thing for wearing baggy pants). His "nibbling" has gotten to the point where I am sometimes afraid to let him rest his face on my shoulder because I have been bitten there one too many times. That's a sad thing, especially during put-down time when we sing, "Jesus Loves Me" as we walk around the dim room. So great is my fear that there are times when I have to hold him at semi-arms length as we circle the nursery.

"This is merely a phase, merely a phase." Breathe deeply in and out, then repeat several times.

(By the way, the creepy photo to the left is merely a shot of William lunging with one hand for my camera. He wasn't coming to suck my blood. All joking aside, I love you, little guy.)

So, We Meet Again.

2008-06-23T10:54:00.000-04:00

As you may recall, my uncle was gracious enough to drive us up to Tainan to pick up William at St. Lucy's and to take photographs of the occasion. Unfortunately, the CD of pictures he burned for us got lost in transit.

My cousin has been kind enough to re-send them to us via email, but for some reason, we've had a lot of difficulty opening the files. We had a modicum of success last night, though, and were able to get a couple of pictures open. Below are some images from the special day that would forever change the course of our family.

As I look at these pictures, I have fond memories of the day we met our beautiful boy and of the wonderful staff at St. Lucy's who did their best to nurture him until we could come for him. I also think of all the other mothers who long to bring home their children, William's roomates. Among the many, I remember Jackie, Lora, Marina, Tiffanie, TamiJoy, Sarah, and KB, who eagerly await their little ones - and in some cases, the resolution of frustrating legalities. May the joy of Meeting Day be theirs very, very, very soon.

Hello, Summertime!

2008-06-21T21:28:00.001-04:00

William's adoptive grandparents have made their three-day, cross-country trek to the East Coast. Upon first seeing them, he was a bit guarded (maybe he associated them with all the upheaval of his homecoming three months ago? He had a similar reaction when he saw my parents again; they had initially traveled with us to get him in Taiwan.) Still, it wasn't long before he warmed up to them and turned on the charm.

Below are some pictures from our afternoon in the backyard with Nana, Pa, Aunt Kaity, Uncle Kevin, and Cousin Isaac.

William's Favorite Things / 11 Months Old

2008-06-19T10:33:00.000-04:00

Taking my cue from Ms. Winfrey, I now present you with a list of William's favorite things, current as of his 11 month-old birthday today.

1. Dogs. The boy is fearless around dogs and will throw himself at any canine passing by. A mere picture of a dog is enough to get him excited. Case in point: in an attempt to keep him amused and quiet during church, I let him play with my cell phone, which has a generic screen saver with different animals. Bad move. As soon as the image of a dog flashed by, he let out a loud, happy screech.

2. Music. He especially loves the CDs of children's music we purchased at the Eslite bookstore in Taipei. (Incidentally, I've noticed an uncanny number of songs feature lyrics about going to school, studying hard, and doing homework. Perhaps American kids' music needs to take a cue?)

3. Water. Swimming lessons are now over and all his fellow classmates and parents are probably glad. They had to give William and his propeller-like arms a very, very wide berth.

4. Eating. We thank God for a willing eater who will sample anything from sauteed mushrooms and herbed beans to carpet fuzz and miniscule bits of dried Play-Doh fallen on the floor. I keep a reasonably clean house but still find that I have to fish random objects of his mouth at least 3 times a day.

5. Books. My earlier concerns about his not being able to focus while I read to him have abated. He often crawls over to the shelf where his books are kept, pulls them down, and tries to look at them. His current favorite? Books with peekaboo flaps and - surprise! Anything with dogs.

6. Anything with which Andrew is playing. Big brother just can't understand why William is so... well, grabby.

7. Brushing teeth. William is entranced when watching others brush their teeth. He also loves to have his 9 chompers scrubbed with a fingertip toothbrush. Woe to the brusher, though. It's as risky a proposition as trying to stick your finger in a shark's mouth. It's a miracle I still have an index finger.

8. People. Chances are quite good that William will be an extrovert. He certainly seems to enjoy people and frequently tries to engage their attention with a big grin. If strangers aren't commenting on what a chunky baby he is, they are remarking about what a happy baby he appears to be.

9. "Walking" with assistance. I think it will still be a few more months before William walks unassisted, but in the meantime, he is so proud of himself when he puts one foot in front of the other and motors along holding our hands. You should hear the "Yaaaaay!" he sends up and the ovation he gives himself afterwards. We're still working on the humble thing.

10. When Daddy comes home from work. Why don't I elicit smiles like these? Their brilliance could blind anyone.

Happy 11 months, little man. May your next month of life bring you continued delight in all of your favorite things.

Old Bottles for New?

2008-06-18T11:16:00.001-04:00

I have heard from very reliable sources (o.k., my friend, Amy at Occupation: Mommy) that many Babies 'R Us strores are accepting returns on baby bottles containing BPA. Of course, they aren't trumpeting the news from the rooftops for obvious reasons, but a quick search online confirms that the rumor is indeed true.

Each store seems to have a varying policy from the next. Some will give store credit for the old bottles, others will exchange the bottles for non-BPA ones, some may take no action at all. I decided to find out for myself. When I called our local BRU, I was told they would indeed take back Andrew's old bottles and allow me to swap them for non-BPA ones. Even though William currently drinks from BPA-less bottles, I can count dozens of babies who could benefit from a gift of BPA-free bottles. Why not try?

Sadly, when I got to the customer service desk, I was informed that the bottles had to be in sets of 3 (i.e., three four-ounce Avent bottles, three eight-ounce Gerber bottles, etc.). Apparently, the cost per bottle is less when they are sold in sets, thus reducing the refund amount to the customer. I suspect that enforcing such a restrictive rule also prohibits more parents from taking advantage of the exchange policy.

This sets-of-three policy was a big problem for me as I didn't purchase any of the bottles in groups of three. During Andrew's first six weeks of life, he refused to latch on while nursing and only drank from a bottle. After countless arduous feeding sessions, he finally got the hang of breastfeeding and declared a permanent bottle strike. During that time, we experimented in vain with numerous brands to try to find one he would take. Sets of three? No way.

Alas, William and I were forced to trudge back to the car with our large bag of assorted bottles. Failed exchange notwithstanding, I am at least happy to know that there are stores that are taking action against the use of BPAs in bottles. It's a step in the right direction.

Defiance

2008-06-13T07:58:00.000-04:00

William's will has been showing itself lately. I think the picture below captures it well:

"Mommy says don't pull at her glasses. The crazy glue holding them together will break again." Chubby hands then reach up for the frail glasses.

"Mommy says don't play with Daddy's alarm clock. You'll reset it to go off at 1 a.m. once again." Baby makes a mad crawl back towards the alarm clock.

"Mommy says don't chew on the lamp's cord." Baby crawls back to the lamp and raises the wire towards his eager mouth.

For some time, I would repeat my admonitions and William would respond with laughter. (Do I really look that amusing when I reprimand?) I'm happy to report that as of lately, William has started to recognize the word "No" in both English and Mandarin. I can tell the meaning has registered from the serious expression on his face when I say "No," his back and forth glances at the off-limits object, the furtive looks he casts towards me as he approaches said verboten item. Sometimes he doesn't obey. Sometimes he does.

All I know is that anyone who tells you that babies are born spotless and innocent has never truly raised a child from scratch. The hard task of training our children to be respectful, obedient, and mindful of everyone's safety has already been laid out for us. And here at the K. household, it's time to get to work.

Last and First

2008-06-11T13:04:00.001-04:00

Today heralded Andrew's last day of Pre-K. We are so proud of our big boy! It also marked the occasion of William's first haircut. While Gege finished up his school year with a class sprinkler/ice cream party, Didi and I headed to a child-friendly salon nearby. His hair was starting to look like an old man's who has just run indoors from a hurricane.

The salon features vehicle seats and t.v. screens to keep its young clients well-diverted. William, who has never watched Sesame Street, was mesmerized by the sight of Elmo to the point where he barely noticed the woman snipping away at his hair. What a relief, considering his older brother screamed bloody murder through most of his first two years of haircuts.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the newly coiffed William...

I made sure to save a few locks of his hair for sentiment's sake. I'm thinking of mailing one William's birthmother when we send pictures and a letter to her in a few months. Next to me, she's the only other woman in the world who would treasure his leftover hair so much.

The Ugly on BPA

2008-06-10T09:11:00.000-04:00

Every now and then, I keep my ear to the parenting ground via a few choice online message boards. One of the hot topics that came up several weeks ago was the subject of BPA, or bisphenol-A, a chemical used in some plastics. BPA has been commonly found in baby bottles and other plastic products. The substance is so widespread that the CDC found trace amounts of BPA in 95% of the people its researchers tested.

According to one biologist who cites tests done on lab rats, "Very low doses [of BPA] — below the amounts that are present in humans — when, particularly, exposure occurs in fetuses and newborns... those babies eventually [develop] prostate cancer, breast cancer. They become hyperactive. They show learning impairment. It's a poster chemical for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder." Other findings suggest BPAs might lead to early onset puberty in females.

Um, that's scary.

Apparently, the use of BPA in baby bottles has become such a concern that the nation of Canada has declared a ban on bottles containing the substance. The American Chemistry Council, in the meantime, refutes the claim that BPAs pose any threat to human health.

I probably don't worry as much as I should about most of the health scares that crop up every three seconds. Still, this one has caught my attention. The last thing William needs is yet another potentially carcinogenic substance vying for his health. He's currently using Born Free bottles, one of the brands that is BPA-free. (For a list of other BPA-free bottles and feeding products, check out this list of recommendations I found online).

Quite soon, we'll need to transition him from a bottle to a sippy cup, so we're back on the prowl for more BPA-free drinkware. If you have any favorites that you can recommend, please do share. Enquiring minds and a thirsty baby want to know.

3 Months Home

2008-06-04T19:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday marked William's three month anniversary of joining our family. When I mentioned this milestone to Craig last night, he was genuinely surprised because it really does feel like William has been with us for much, much longer.

Over the last month, we have seen more outward signs of a healthy bond developing. I could be wrong, but I think he's starting to trust us more to provide for him. In the first two months of being home, he would kick and howl and cry in his highchair until we inserted his bottle into his mouth. (Believe me, we prep his food as much as we can in advance of feeding time and waste no time in getting it to him.) Nowadays, he fusses much less. I'd like to think this change indicates his understanding that we'll provide for him unfailingly.

William is also expressing a recognition that we belong together. Recently, we were recently at a large indoor playground with our local MOPS group. He decided to chase after a toy that was a good 30 feet away. I let him go and waited with some apprehension. What would he do when he tired of the toy? Would he remember where I was and search for me? Would he crawl around aimlessly and cry because he thought himself abandoned?

I'm happy to report that when he did bore of the toy, he turned around and came back to me without missing a beat. Considering there were plenty of other children and parents around, he searched for me and found me. It seems silly to think he wouldn't, but as an adoptive parent, I don't take these outcomes for granted.

And finally, my favorite indicator of healthy bonding: for the past several weeks William has been giving me kisses. It's so sweet. He looks like a trout as he slowly angles his face towards mine, his petite mouth puckered into a perfect "O." (I know, fish are far from cute, but I think you get the picture). Just for the moment, it's easy to forget that I've been slimed and slobbered with baby drool. Ahhh... bliss.

The Stork Strikes Again - Twice!

2008-06-02T11:17:00.000-04:00

I have been reeling with joy this past week at so many announcements of incoming babies. This week, two of my blogging friends, Sarah W. and K.B. were referred babies from St. Lucy's Center.

Sarah, the undisputed queen of the Taiwanese adoption blogging world, has been matched with a 4 month-old baby girl after a nearly 16 month wait. I have yet to see Hannah Claire's entire picture, but rumor has it that she has a set of chins that could give William's a run for the money.

After an emotional roller-coaster ride of a wait, K.B. and her family were finally matched with a wonderful little 4 month-old boy. I am so happy for her!

It is amazing how excited I have become for women whom I have never met face-to-face. In following their blogs and corresponding through email, it has been impossible not to get caught up in all the highs and lows of their journeys and to hold my breath along with them as they waited for their referral days. I'm delighted to now have the opportunity to exhale.

Up and At 'Em

2008-06-02T07:13:00.000-04:00

Quite literally. Ever since William figured out how to pull himself up to a standing position, he's been trying to grab anything within reach on low-lying surfaces. We have to make sure that all the small objects lying about are inaccessible to him. It's as if his mouth is a black hole that ineluctably sucks off-limits items in its direction.

Babyproofing aside, William is so proud of himself. Often when he pulls up, he will rest his weight on whatever is supporting him, clap, and smile irrepressibly. Sometimes, he even cheers "Yaaaaaaay!" for himself.

It has really been exciting watching him hit so many milestones in less than three months of being home. The experience is akin to watching fireworks explode in slow motion. William is now where he should be developmentally. Naturally, I wonder if his motor skills would have progressed much more quickly had he not lived in an insitution setting for almost 5 months of his life. Either way, we are grateful for the rare opportunity to have had him home at a younger age so that we can bear witness to the unfolding of these minor miracles.

The Invisible Child

2008-05-31T11:04:00.000-04:00

Nowadays, there seems to be a Yahoo group for just about anything. Among the many to which I belong, I am a member of a group entitled "Bio and Chinese," a forum for parents of biological children and Chinese adoptees. (O.K., so William hails from Taiwan, but until the Taiwanese adoptive population explodes in size, we'll just have to make do.)

Not too long ago, someone posted a link to a thought-provoking article on the importance of valuing our biological children's heritages. I'll wager that quite often their cultural backgrounds and places of birth don't get celebrated anywhere near the extent as those of their adoptive siblings.

With all of our chatter about Taiwan lately, Andrew's 50% Taiwanese make-up has been well-indulged. I'm not worried about satisfying that fraction of his heritage. However, Burbville, New Jersey where he was born needs to become a bigger deal in our every day parlance. We need to return to that Polish festival late this summer and perhaps listen to some bagpipe music (his late, great-grandpa H. Collier Mc. would appreciate this). It also wouldn't hurt us to frequent an Oktoberfest celebration or two.

I've been doing the best I can to make sure that Andrew doesn't feel neglected in all the hullabaloo over William's arrival. Still, this article convicts me that I need to take my efforts one step further. Read it for yourself, and if you're also in the Bio-Taiwanese or Bio-Anything Else parenting boat, you may find yourself a bit challenged, too.

Speaking in Triplicate

2008-05-29T09:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, while on a walk with William, we came across our neighbor and his terrier, Schulz. William, who has a strong interest in live animals, grew very excited. I narrated what we saw: "Dog!" "Gou-Gou!" ("doggie!") For extra emphasis, I patted my thigh a few times to demonstrate the word in sign language.

What came back to me from him was, "Dah!" "Guh!" and a few slaps on the side of the stroller. True, the words and sign weren't perfectly executed and perhaps I'm imagining things out of a desire to see a certain outcome, but I was downright impressed. Our baby just spoke his second word in three languages! Excuse me while I indulge in a proud mommy moment.

Okay, carry on...

When Dreams Come True

2008-05-29T09:15:00.000-04:00

Craig and I are absolutely thrilled to pieces for our good friends, Greg and Kara. After 5 years of wondering, hoping, and praying, their dreams finally became true in the form of one little boy. Baby Jude was born two days ago and couldn't be any cuter. Our heartiest congratulations to the newly expanded M. family.

Baby Goes Green

2008-05-24T20:59:00.000-04:00

Ever since we moved to Pennsylvania two years ago, we've known about the miles of nature trails within easy access of our home. However, it was only today that we decided to take advantage of them. Boy, have we missed out!

Safely ensconced in his backpack carrier, William was well-shielded from the plants that still daunt him. He quietly took in his natural surroundings and fussed only when I reached up to wipe his runny nose (yes, ladies and gentlemen, he's got another cold).

Now that we've experienced first-hand the hidden treasure we've ignored for so long, we'll definitely be back for more.

Picture Perfect

2008-05-24T20:34:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Gwyn E., my women's Bible study leader, William is now the proud owner of the beautiful painting above. Gwyn owns an antique store and ran across the reproduction on one of her treasure hunts.

The picture is one of the few I've seen that depicts Asian children in an un-stereotyped manner. The kids in the image are just being kids, having fun. Nice find, Gwyn!

Unspeakable Tragedy

2008-05-22T11:55:00.001-04:00

You may have heard by now that the 5 year-old daughter of popular Christian singer, Steven Curtis Chapman, passed away in the worst sort of accidents. Our hearts grieve with the Chapmans, who have been such dedicated advocates of adoption. Their charity, Shaohannah's Hope, has made it possible for many children to finally be united with their adoptive families.

On a personal level, Shaohannah's Hope recently awarded a grant to help bring Noah, one of William's St. Lucy's roomates, home. I had the privilege of seeing him when we picked up William and I can tell you that he is one precious boy.

Please keep the Chapman family in prayer during this unimaginably difficult time.

Just Add Mullet

2008-05-19T14:04:00.001-04:00

Yes, given the 1980s' look of the guitar he's holding, a mullet would've been more appropriate on this image of William. I'll have to suggest that option to the good people at Slide.com, where I got a bit carried away earlier.

Anyhow, today marks William's 10 month old birthday. Happy 10 months, baby boy. Rock on!

Frequent Flyer Attends His First Birthday Party

2008-05-19T09:35:00.001-04:00

In less than three months, William has logged more frequent flyer miles than the average baby. This past weekend, our family flew up to New Hampshire to attend his cousin Mei-Ling's first birthday party. You can see Miss M. and the boys below:

I was a little concerned about how William would feel flying on a plane so soon after having just returned from Taiwan. Would he have any bad memories or negative associations? I know I sure have a few. However, he did well on the trip in and as well as circumstances would allow on the flight back.

We were stuck in the Manchester airport for 2 hours awaiting inclement weather in Philadelphia to blow over. Once the rotation of baby toys got old, once snacks and peekaboo failed to work their magic, our napless wonder decided it was fussy time. I popped him into the Ergo and walked him back to the flight attendant's jumpseat area where he cried at the top of his lungs 5 minutes. I never thought I'd be thankful for the deafening hum of an airplane, but it was actually quite useful in blocking out much of the noise from his crying.

All in all, things could have been worse: once we returned to our seats, William turned on the charm and tried to engage his fellow passengers in a smiling contest. Andrew's whining decreased. Craig, who was feeling lightheaded earlier, was back to 100%. And despite some turbulence on the way down, I didn't have to use the motion sickness bag, which I had popped open and ready to go. There are certainly worse ways to end a weekend.

Merbaby

2008-05-14T11:13:00.000-04:00

You know that woman who chases her son around the swimming pool, desperately trying to coax him to re-join his swimming class while he shrieks in fear, "I don't want to get my eyes wet! NOOOOO!!!!"?

I am that woman and a certain you-know-who is that boy.

In light of our past experience, it was with great trepidation that I signed William up for swimming lessons. Certainly, I realize he's not going to learn to swim at 9 months old. We didn't adopt a mermaid. However, from what I've read, swimming lessons are a great way to promote bonding because the child is forced to cling to his parent. The skin-to-skin contact is also supposed to help in some sort of primal way.

Praise God Almighty! William has no issues getting water in his face. To him, the swimming pool is just one big bathtub. Throughout the first lesson, his arms were constantly in motion, splashing himself and everyone else within range.

The only drawback is his sensitive skin. By the lesson's end, the chlorine turned much of his back, legs, and arms lobster-red. I showered him down upon exiting the pool and slathered him in moisturizer when we got home.

So, if you happen to be at your local pool and notice a large baby splashing around mercilessly, and if he's accompanied by a woman who's wiping her eyes every other second, chances are, it's the two of us.

Tag - I'm It!

2008-05-12T07:56:00.000-04:00

I've been tagged by my friend, Amy, to share the following details with you:

5 Things You Can Find Inside My Bag:
1. Assorted baby rattles, none of which are ever quiet enough when I need them to be.
2. Crushed ATM receipts
3. Fake pirate tattoos from the dentist office's treasure box (they're Andrew's - um... really, I swear!)
4. Surfboard cracker crumbs
5. A chunky bead necklace that I scored at Target for $3.99. Prior parenting experience should have taught me that necklace on Mommy = handlebar for baby

5 Favorite Things in the Room I'm in (I'm in the family room):
1. A gigantic clock that is roughly the size of a manhole cover
2. Two black and white pictures of my beautiful boys
3. A whimsical black and white sketch of two people signed by the artist. It was given to us by Craig's late grandfather. Whenever I see it, I always think of him telling me that the image spoke to him of mercy.
4. The reclining leather club chair I'm sitting in now. I've always thought Lazy-Boy type chairs were hideous, but look at me now!
5. My laptop. Laptop and I are sadly inseparable. More and more, I am convicted of my need to break the addiction.

5 Things I've Always Wanted to Do:
1. Finish the novel I started writing months ago and get it published
2. Learn Photoshop, Illustrator, and other such programs
3. Learn to use a real camera (not my piddling point 'n shoot) well
4. Learn to decorate cakes
5. Play the drums in a punk rock band

5 Things I'm Currently Into:
1. Peanut M&Ms
2. Jhumpa Lahiri's aptitude for rendering emotional undercurrents in her prose
3. Sleep - though I seldom get as much as I need
4. The Book of Genesis. It's amazing how the same old story takes on new meanings each time.
5. Searching for a bargain price on a Maclaren Quest stroller

4 People I Plan to Tag:
1. Yvonne - because the details of her everyday are always a pleasant read
2. Haewon - because I'm curious to know what the most stylish woman I know keeps in her bag and because yay! She's having a boy!
3. Jennifer - because Miss Twin Momma could probably use some diversion from having to change poopy diapers two at a time
4. Sara/Sofa - because her responses are sure to be the very definition of LOL

Babies, Babies!

2008-05-11T19:30:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to my oldest sister, Diane and her husband Ryan. She just called to share some wonderful Mother's Day news - she's 3 months pregnant with her second child! Hooray for her family and hooray for a new cousin for William!

Next weekend, we hop on a plane to New Hampshire to celebrate their elder daughter, Meiling's, first birthday. It will be fun to watch William and his little cousin play together.

Of course, visions of walking fussy William up and down the airplane aisles and a seatmate who had a near-brush with death flash through our minds as we anticipate the ride. Thankfully,it's only a 70 minute trip from Philadelphia. However, now that William is much more mobile, he is considerably more wiggly (just ask the good people who sat near us in church this morning).

Now where did I put our extra supply of surfboard crackers?

Mother's Day 2008

2008-05-11T07:56:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been wishing I could hook a USB cable up to my head and do a mental download of all the sights and sounds William's birthmother has missed over the past few months. She has asked for photos of him on each of his birthdays, a request with which we are more than happy to comply. With them, we hope to send a letter detailing his growth, personality, and adjustment. There is just so much to show and tell.

I wish she could experience everything - the way his face tenses with anticipation then explodes into glee as I release him in the tree swing. I want her heart to ache at the pure, sweet sight of him sitting up in his crib, clapping his hands when he should be napping. I wish she could see how how frustrated he gets when he surveys his highchair tray and sees nothing he wants to eat. (For her sake, I might edit out his shrill whining. I could replace it with the sound of his purring like a cat when I rub my face against his soft belly.)

Unfortunately, mere words and pictures don't do these moments justice. On her first Mother's Day (do they celebrate Mother's Day in Taiwan? I don't know), I wish she could experience all of these things for herself. No doubt she longs for the same thing. As it is, through life's odd twists and turns, we are who we are, where we are, two mothers of the same beautiful boy. Mother's Day will never be the same for either of us again.

The Fortunate One

2008-05-09T20:30:00.000-04:00

At every turn, it seems like we keep running into "predictors" foretelling that William will one day have a prosperous life. I'm not one to put much stake in fortune tellers, palm readers, or even plain old-fashioned luck. Still, the following is interesting:

William's Chinese name, Szu-Chuan, bears the charcaters for gold. Incidentally, we learned from Sister Rosa at St. Lucy's that his birthfamily paid good money for a fortune teller to create his name.

Sister Rosa also said that two of the volunteers who come to work with the babies at St. Lucy's are palm readers. They looked at the lines on William's hands and predicted that wealth and prestige await him.

My Aunt Mary, who joined us at St. Lucy's on pickup day, tells me that when she reads our blog in Chinese via Google's translation tools, the name "William" translates into "wealth."

Perhaps inspired by William's Buddha-esque physique, my own father can't help but predict that he is destined to bring great financial gain upon our family.

I don't know what God has planned for our baby. There are so many things I would wish for him. However, if it's wealth that is headed his way, may he have the wisdom to know that money is not the sum total of life, that it's not his to keep anyways. He is merely the custodian of it on behalf of Someone Greater. If it's poverty that marks his days, may he have a deep-rooted faith that trusts that the same God who feeds the sparrows and clothes the lilies of the field will do the same for him. And if he's somewhere in between, may he have the humility to judge neither the wealthy nor the poor but to love them indiscriminately and to be generous with what he has been given.

Whiz Kid

2008-05-08T12:20:00.000-04:00

We just returned from William's 9 month-old pediatrician's appointment. After a 40 minute wait, we finally met with the nurse practitioner. She went through the usual verbal checklist, then asked me to lay him down on the table.

As she was examining his privates, he decided to pee all over her hands. Perhaps it was a preemptive attempt to ward off the two shots and toe prick he was to receive later. Thankfully, she was a good sport and had a sink within easy reach.

As for the numbers, William weighed in at 22 lbs. and 10 oz. and measured 30 inches in length, considerably lighter and shorter than I had expected, but still quite a load to carry.

Get Your Move On

2008-05-07T11:45:00.000-04:00

Craig and I have a bet going: he believes William will be walking by his first birthday. Given his slight motor delays and his overrall contentment to observe from a distance rather than be constantly hands-on, I beg to differ. I am guessing we won't see him walking - fully walking, not just taking a few faltering steps, then reverting to a crawl - until he's about 15 or 16 months old.

Unfortunately for me, Craig may be closer to winning the bet. These past two weeks have seen tremendous growth in William's mobility. He can now maneuver himself into a sitting position from lying down. His inability to do so before was one of the things that prompted the occupational therapist to categorize him as slightly delayed.

He has also started crawling in the traditional position on all fours. It's still a slow, sticky crawl (you can see for yourself in the video below), but he's definitely on the prowl. Baby gate, work your magic!

Finally, William has started pulling himself up to a standing position. I'm guessing he doesn't have the muscle strength in his arms and torso to do this well so he doesn't try very often. However, his legs are quite strong. He can balance himself upright with little support from us once he does manage to get up.

I know many people say that we shouldn't look forward to the day when he walks because all havoc will break loose. However, I don't half mind if it means my arms won't be so tired from schlepping him around. Tomorrow, William has his 9 month-old pediatrician appointment and I would not be surprised at all if he weighed in at least 24 pounds.

In the meantime, we have a baby on the go. Bravo, William!

The Next Best Thing

2008-05-07T11:28:00.001-04:00

Do you remember Lucy, William's cute roommate at St. Lucy's? Unfortunately, there has been no news of a court decision on her behalf, granting her leave to join her new family.

However, she has been given the next best thing in the meantime. Her mother, Jackie, has flown halfway around the world just to visit her for a few days. How's that for love?

You can check out the heartwarming photos for yourself on their blog.

2 Months Home

2008-05-04T16:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday marked the two month anniversary of William's joining our family. Has it only been that short a time? Looking back, it's becoming hard to remember a time when he wasn't a member of our family.

Families who have walked the adoptive path before us often say it's as if their child was handpicked for their family. The more we learn about William, the more we are finding this to be true.

He's the perfect little brother for Andrew: he's laid-back enough to tolerate Andrew's high-octane ways without breaking into tears (crying babies really unnerve him). That he is such a happy baby is also a confidence booster for Andrew. More than once, I've caught Andrew giving lessons to his classmates on how to play peek-a-boo just the right way in order to make his brother laugh.

From a parenting perspective, he's flexible enough to handle the rigors of being the second child - naps in the car, interrupted story time, an older brother who preempts his toys for use as makeshift Hot Wheels ramps. He's a good sleeper (apart from waking at 5:20 a.m. every morning). And his cheerful disposition and quick smile balance out our tendencies to be over-serious. God couldn't have matched us more perfectly.

By the way, did you notice that, just like us, our baby also has an extra chin or two? Surely the Good Lord has a sense of humor.

Elbow, Elbow, Wrist, Wrist

2008-05-04T16:01:00.000-04:00

Some time over the past few days, William learned how to wave. Here he is giving a dispassionate wave to all his fans worldwide. (Sorry, blogreader in Indonesia; at the time of filming, you just couldn't compete with the weeds in our garden bed.)

The Perfect Shot

2008-05-02T21:03:00.001-04:00

Below are some pictures of William and Andrew taken at a local indoor sports center earlier today. A few days a week, the staff clears out one of the soccer fields and fills it with toys for open play.

I tried my best to get a good picture of the two brothers, but as I'm quickly finding, the perfect shot is harder to capture than Osama bin Laden. I marvel at those families with 3+ children who can turn out Christmas cards with every child well-posed and smiling angelically. I think we may resort to taking the clever approach of our friends, Ted and Anna. They Photoshop the best versions of their 4 children's faces onto their bodies and voila! Instant money shot.

Laugh out Loud

2008-05-01T20:30:00.000-04:00

Though William didn't quite deliver the full-out belly laughs he rendered the first time I humiliated myself making dog noises (wouldn't you know it? I didn't have my camera on hand), the following still contains a high concentration of giggles:

Creepycrunchystinkyyummy

2008-04-27T13:41:00.000-04:00

Don't tell the social worker who's due to come next weekend for our 2 month post-placement visit. She doesn't need to know that I let William eat a stinkbug.

Well, actually, I didn't let him. He was amusing himself so nicely in a corner of the playroom while I helped Andrew assemble his pirate ship. When I turned around to look at William, he was smiling at me, mouth open. I saw the flash of something brown inside his mouth. It looked vaguely like a stinkbug, the sort of which we get inside of our house this time of year. But no, it couldn't be. Not in his mouth.

Eh, heh, heh... upon closer inspection, indeed it was. Thankfully, William hadn't crunched down on it yet, so I was able to sweep it out of his mouth quickly. Apparently, he must have put his developing pincer grasp to good use, finding the dead bug on the floor and maneuvering it into his mouth.

Just in case you're wondering, my award for most oblivious parent arrived in the mail yesterday.

Picture Perfect

2008-04-25T19:45:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Deborah, we received back the autographable matte to a picture frame we'd like to hang in William's nursery. I had planned to to bring the matte with us to Taiwan so that the St. Lucy's staff could sign it. Unfortunately, I forgot to throw it into our jam-packed suitcase at the last moment. Supermom that she is, Deborah was gracious enough to bring it with her on her special day when she picked up her son, Alex.

I'm glad that many of the ladies took the time to sign the matte. It's a bit surreal to have specific names to associate with the mysterious group of women who spent so many months caring for William. Regrettably, in the photo below, I omitted the upper right hand part that bears my favorite message from a woman named Diana. She wrote, "Miss You, Love You."

Deborah also mailed us a video camera and a disposable camera that we had sent in William's last care package. Sister Rosa at St. Lucy's told us they didn't use them since we were due to arrive so soon after they received the package. I'm amazed that the ladies kept the cameras and thought to send them back with Deborah. It's impressive how well they manage to keep tabs on the children and their future families.

So, what's going to go inside of the frame? While at St. Lucy's, we asked the caretakers if we could take a picture of them with William so that he could remember the women who lavished him with so much love and good care. When I showed that photo to William a few weeks ago, he let out a happy screech and flapped his hands up and down. Did he recognize the women? It's anyone's guess, but one might think so.

Unfortunately, I can't post that picture since our agency has rules against showing the caretakers' faces on blogs. However, I can show you something just as good: the most beautiful baby in the world.

Smile!

All's Well that Ends Well

2008-04-24T21:41:00.000-04:00

I could be wrong, but I think William is in the process of dropping his third, late-afternoon nap. He's right at the age when this should be happening. When 4:30 rolls around, he's tired but unable to fall asleep. As you might deduce, it's a challenging time of day.

This afternoon, I changed him into his pajamas around 5:30 p.m. then tried to stretch him to a bedtime of 6:30 p.m. The first 45 minutes were rough going. At least we ended the last 15 minutes of the day well. William banged away happily on an electric keyboard and dove after my camera as I tried to snap pictures of him.

William vs. Nature, Round 2

2008-04-23T21:30:00.000-04:00

Has William finally overcome his fear of plants? You be the judge.

Swing Low, Sweet William

2008-04-22T19:32:00.000-04:00

William's not half the motion junkie that his older brother Andrew is, but he can still appreciate a good swing ride. Below are some pictures of him in the tree swing behind our house.

Adopting - Again.

2008-04-22T07:54:00.000-04:00

Now that we've adopted William from Taiwan, we've decided to adopt him once again in the United States.

We brought William home on an IR-4 visa, not having seen him prior to picking him up. As a result of his visa classification, we need to complete more paperwork and participate in a re-adoption hearing with a local judge. Doing so will enable him to have a Pennsylvania birth certificate, necessary for so many important filings later on in his life.

In addition, because we need to file a name change on his behalf (his Taiwanese visa only lists his given Chinese name), I'm told by our county courthouse's adoption unit that we need to hire an attorney. I could be misinformed, but apparently this is something that the average layperson cannot do.

Initially, I was under the impression that the attorneys' fees would run somewhere in the $300.00 range, a price that someone on a Pennsylvania online adoption group had estimated. However, when I interviewed three lawyers who have handled a good number of re-adoption cases, I learned that their fees range anywhere between $750.00 to $1,500.00. Ai-yo!

At this point, if you haven't guessed, we're a wee bit tired of cracking wide our wallets and dealing with paperwork. However, if this is what it takes to ensure our son won't hit any snafus with identity, citizenship, or who knows what later in life, I guess we'll just need to suck it up and forge ahead.

Boy in a Bubble

2008-04-21T20:46:00.001-04:00

It's not all smiles all the time with William. Here are a couple of photographs from earlier. Andrew was outside testing a giant bubble blowing wand (thanks, Auntie Jenny and Uncle Paul) while William looked on cautiously from his stroller.

"Those mysterious, wiggly blobs - friends or foes?"

9 Months Old

2008-04-19T18:54:00.001-04:00

Excuse me - have you seen the last 30 days? They went by so quickly that the next thing I knew, our precious baby turned 9 months old.

Open Wide and Say "Bu Yao Zhua!"

2008-04-18T10:17:00.000-04:00

William has certainly had his fill of dentists' offices lately. Yesterday, he got dragged along on Andrew's visit. This morning, he came with me to my dentist.

He did quite well sitting in his stroller for the first 10 minutes while the hygienist took x-rays of my mouth and scraped my teeth with that nails-on-chalkboard picky tool. Surfboard crackers, work your magic!

Unfortunately, once the crackers were gone, he started to get fussy. At the same time, the dentist entered to begin the examination. Hearing William's grumping, the receptionist, the hygienist, and the dental assistant all flocked into the tiny room to try to calm him down. I didn't feel like giving them the "He's newly adopted and as the parent, I really ought to be the one to handle the soothing so that he can build trust and see me as his perpetual caregiver, yadda, yadda, yadda" speech.

So, I plucked him out of his stroller, smiled sweetly at the well-intentioned ladies, and resumed the exam with William sitting on my stomach. At first, he amused himself with my Dixie rinse cup, then he started batting at all the surrounding dental appliances. I did my best to pry his eager hands off all the wires and tools while trying to lie still with my mouth open. Thankfully, my teeth were problem-free and the dentist was done with his review in less than two minutes.

Whew. I'll have to remember to brush and floss well so that next time's visit will also be a quick one. It's a good thing we won't have to return for another 6 months.

(Speaking of teeth, Mr. William now has two more pearly whites breaking through his top gums. He is quickly on his way to losing that baby beaver look. In just 4 more months, he'll either be reclining compliantly or screaming bloody murder in the dentist's chair himself.)

The Relative Parade

2008-04-17T21:25:00.000-04:00

Incoming slide show - duck!

As children of immigrants, my sisters and I grew up fairly isolated from the rest of our relatives, 99% of whom still remain in Taiwan. I've observed the rapport Craig has had with his grandparents and extended family and a part of me is envious that I missed out on not knowing my (very large) set of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews. I met many of them for the first time when we visited Taiwan last month.

Thankfully, William will get to grow up in the company of extended family. While many of our parents and siblings are scattered along the East Coast and the Southwest, he does have three uncles and three aunts within reasonable driving distance of our home. The ones who are further out also make a point to visit a few times a year.

While we were initially apprehensive about how our families would accept the adoption, we've come to realize that our fears were unfounded. William may not be biological, but you'd never know it from the love his new family members have showered upon him.

Everything But the Manual

2008-04-16T21:56:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Sarah W., who clued me into the wonderful world of blog slide galleries, I'm going to begin inundating you with more slideshows than you can shake a stick at. Take cover!

Below are photos of the contents of the blue tote bag we received from St. Lucy's Center on pickup day. One of my favorite items is the scrapbook containing pictures of William, well-wishes from the caretakers, and pages handpainted by one of the ladies.

The only items not pictured are the health records booklet and the one-page form containing information on caring for William. The latter is the closest thing we'll ever receive to a manual on our child.

What? Don't all kids come with a care manual or a set of instructions?

More Happy Endings

2008-04-16T11:26:00.001-04:00

A very big congratulations to Deborah and her family. Sometime within the last 24 hours, she picked up her son, Alex, from St. Lucy's Center. You can read all about their special day on their blog.

We had the opportunity to meet Alex ourselves when we toured the nursery. I told him that Mommy and Daddy were coming to bring him home soon. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait much longer. Now, come on, Tainan judge: push those papers and get William's 20 other roomates home quickly!

Ding Ding Pharmacy

2008-04-15T20:23:00.001-04:00

For those families with children at St. Lucy's Center who might find themselves searching high and low for extra Snow formula, hopefully the following will help.

Thanks to my cousin Piers and his family, we discovered Ding Ding Pharmacy in Kaoshiung. It's a pharmacy in a rather un-American sense, mostly full of baby gear and cosmetic products. We bought two jumbo-sized cans of Snow that served us very well for the next few weeks after picking up William. We also purchased a variety of pacifiers, a few of which somewhat resemble the ones used at St. Lucy's.

Dorks that we are, we saved the plastic bag from our purchase. We showed it to the front desk staffer at The Agora Garden Hotel and asked her to call to find out if Ding Ding had a location in Taipei. Indeed they do. We didn't have time to stop by, but in case you'd like to try, on the bottom right is the "taxi card" she drafted for us. You may want to call ahead and make sure the Taipei store carries Snow (the phone number is on the bottom of the bag on the left.)

Last Camera Standing

2008-04-14T22:00:00.001-04:00

Of the three disposable cameras we sent to St. Lucy's Center in William's care packages, only one came back with usable pictures. Thankfully, the photographer(s) turned on the flash for most of the photos. There are about 8 more pictures that I didn't include in the slideshow below since they include images of other children.

My best guess is that these pictures were taken some time in January 2008, roughly around the time that William likely switched from the infant nursery to the older baby facility. You can see that he moves from a large, white crib to a beige-colored crib. You can also see some of the items we sent him in one of his care packages, conspicuously displayed for his eager parents, no doubt.

We're thankful that the caretakers took the time out of their busy jobs to snap these photos for us. While we would have loved to have gone 3 for 3 with the disposable cameras, we're thrilled to have whatever we can get from this period of his life in which we were apart.

When We Last Left Off...

2008-04-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

... William had a bad case of eczema and hives. We've had three small outbreaks since then, but overall, his skin has cleared.

... he was waking several times throughout the night, crying. His wakings have reduced to once a night or none at all. Perhaps the white noise machine has helped, but that's speculative. It could just be that he's getting more used to his new life. He sleeps from about 6:45 p.m. to 5:45-ish. His napping still continues to be erratic.

... he showed little interest in reading books. We are making great strides in this area. His two favorite books are Where Is Baby's Belly Button (he loves a good game of peek-a-boo) and Happy Baby Animals. We've intentionally kept the selection limited so he's not overwhelmed by too many different titles. He's also learned to let his arms go limp when we need to strap him into his carseat or highchair.

... he was gulping down formula like it was going out of manufacture. The other day, we clocked him downing 7 ounces in a minute and a half - and that with a congested nose. His overall consumption, however, has decreased. He also shows less interest than he initially did in eating solids. Perhaps he's learning that he doesn't have to make the choice between vacuum cleaning food or going hungry.

... he was running a low-grade fever with heavy congestion. The fever has since abated, but the nasal and chest congestion remain. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to go into the church nursery today where Craig was due to volunteer. (Speaking of the nursery, the staff at the CHOP adoption clinic recommend that we wait 4 more months before placing him there or in any other institution-like setting. Unlike routine daycare, there is too much time in between visits, his memory too short at this age, his attachment to us still too tenuous for him to risk being placed in a potentially scary environment without us.)

From the looks of it, we may be on the verge of our first whole family contagion. It's hard not to catch germs from a baby who shamelessly sneezes in our faces and has a runny nose we wipe with whatever is around, our own shirt sleeves not excluded. I know I've definitely caught something. Craig is not feeling too spectacular himself, and Andrew certainly sounds congested. But hey - we're a family. Share the germs, share the love.

For Your Information

2008-04-12T21:33:00.000-04:00

While in Taiwan, we ran across some charming signs posted in public areas. Here are a few, which I'm just now getting around to posting:

"Which one are you?"

(A sign next to the elevator at the Zuoying High-Speed Rail station)

"Just make sure you know who your fellow passenger is first."
(A sign near the parking lot at the Zuoying High-Speed Rail station)

Spoiled

2008-04-10T20:47:00.000-04:00

Yup. That's us. For the last five and a half weeks, we have been spoiled rotten by family and friends who have rallied to our aid during this busier season of our lives.

While we were gone in Taiwan picking up William, Craig's parents ran a shuttle service to and from Andrew's school, made sure he was bathed and brushed, and played endless games of coyote with him. Craig's siblings also came by to give them a break whenever they needed a boost. The week we came back, they babysat Andrew while we battled jetlag. They also helped babyproof our house and put dinner on the table every night.

For the next three weeks, members of our church brought delicious dinners by almost every other day. Their selfless service gave me a break from having to cook dinner while simultaneously wrangling two kids. I realize that much mud has been flung at the Christian church over the last few decades, much of it rightfully deserved. However, when the church does come together and functions as designed, it truly is a beautiful thing. We've certainly experienced this first hand.

Not only were my parents instrumental in shepherding us around Taiwan and translating ad nauseam, they provided four extra hands to hold and entertain William when we really needed them. This week they left their home state of Virginia and came up to help babysit, cook, take out trash, and help out in countless other ways. Their timing couldn't have been better with William under the weather and myself as tired as an old dog.

So, on behalf of Craig, Andrew, William, and myself, a big thanks to all of you who have come together on our behalves. With your assistance, we have managed to soldier through what would have otherwise been a pretty rocky transition period.

And thanks to you, I have forgotten how to cook.

Sick and Tired

2008-04-09T20:42:00.000-04:00

Those words aptly describe William's day.

Yesterday, he came down with a cold. Today, he developed a low-grade fever and woke up early, flaming hot, his nose clogged with yellow snot. The congestion made it hard for him to feed. Much of what he did drink wound up thrown up into his bib (go, Baby Bjorn bib!). That same stuffed nose was probably also to blame for his inability to nap longer than 15 minutes at a time. The end result was a baby who was tired, cranky, and definitely not his typical smiley self.

Here's to a better tomorrow.

Building Families, Two Continents at a Time

2008-04-08T22:18:00.001-04:00

When I think of our adoption on an eternal scale, I often imagine God standing in front of a big map of the world. He is inserting pushpins into different locations all over the map and connecting one to another with a piece of yarn. Each pin represents a set of individuals whose lives have been joined together by the miracle of adoption.

In reality, God is not as behind the times with his technology as I imagine. The One who created the world in 6 days can surely do much better than to wrangle pushpins and yarn. My limited imagination aside, I find it so interesting to ponder how two sets of people previously unknown to one another can come together and form a beautiful bond, no biological stimulant needed. Surely the hands of God are actively at work in their lives.

Consider the picture below: in it is William and his new friend, Anant. Anant was adopted from India by our friends from church, Rob and Mary. They picked him up just a few days before we met William in Taiwan. Imagine that: two boys from countries so many miles apart winding up in the same part of the world just 15 miles of each other. It astounds me.

Here's yet another thing that blows my mind: Anant, who celebrates his 2nd birthday today (happy birthday, sweetie!), is just one pound heavier than 8 month-old William. What can I say? We have a Costco-sized baby.

Nature Non-Lover

2008-04-08T21:30:00.001-04:00

With spring in full swing, we thought we'd capitalize upon the annual daffodil explosion in our backyard and take some pictures of William. We never figured that he'd be wary of close encounters with plants. Take a look:

We finally got a semi-decent flower shot by making a compromise. If William wouldn't go to the daffodils, a lone daffodil would have to come to him.

For anyone who wonders, it's worth mentioning that St. Lucy's does have a very lovely courtyard garden, thanks to the hard work of some volunteers from our agency who traveled over to help with renovations a little over a year ago. I'm not sure how much opportunity William and the other babies had to go outside. No doubt, the caretakers had their hands full just changing diapers, wiping noses, and feeding child after child.

If you look carefully at the picture to the left, you can see the windows of the nursery where William used to live. The nursery is on the ground floor to the left of the tall, spirally tree. William's crib was right in front of one of the windows. It's nice to know he had a garden view during his time there.

Making a Name for Yourself

2008-04-07T20:15:00.000-04:00

If I am confused by what name I should be calling myself in William's presence, chances are, he's equally confused by all the names I am calling him. He is "William," "Szu-Chuan," "Didi," "Baby," "Baobei," "Chuan-Chuan," and "Chuan-Geh."

The last name, "Chuan-Geh" is the nickname the caretakers at St. Lucy's gave him. It's a combination of the latter part of his first name, Szu-Chuan, combined with a piece of "Geh-Geh" ("brother" in Mandarin Chinese). If you put it all together, "Chuan-Geh" amounts to something like "Little Brother Chuan."

The day we picked up William from St. Lucy's, two other families were also there to get their children. Their babies' nicknames seemed to follow a similar formula:

(latter half of the first name) + "Geh" (for boys) or "Mei" (for girls) = nickname

If you want to soup it up a bit more, try this alternate formula, applied to one of the children:

"Ah" + (latter half of the first name) + "Geh" (for boys) or "Mei" (for girls) = nickname

"Ah" is a sound that is sometimes appended when calling someone. In my lifetime, I've only heard it added at the end of someone's name, but I guess it must work both ways.

So following these equations, if Andrew had a St. Lucy's nickname, it would probably be "Drew-Geh" or "Ah-Drew-Geh." Using my Chinese name, mine would be "Li-Mei," or "Ah-Li-Mei." (It sounds better than "Dith-Mei" or "Ah-Dith-Mei," a variant of "Judith.")

How about yours?

Who's Your Mama?

2008-04-06T18:04:00.000-04:00

One of the things I've been mulling over is how to refer to myself in William's presence. Should I call myself "Mama" - the Mandarin word for "mother"? The word slips out so effortlessly when I speak to him in Chinese. Should I call myself, "Mommy," the name I use when speaking with Andrew?

I've decided to make a conscious effort to refer to myself as the latter. Here's why: having spent 9 months in the womb of another woman who has likely referred to herself as "Mama" and having been visited by her several times while at St. Lucy's, William could very likely be confused when hearing another woman call herself the same name. It is a special word fraught with so much meaning that to call myself the same thing would be a crime of sorts. So, "Mommy" it is.

The trickier thing is how we will refer to his birthmother when he is of age to discuss her. Right now, I'm leaning toward calling her by her first name+"Mama," sort of a cutesy-sweet way of referring to a mother in Chinese. However, even that is controversial. I remember reading a post by an adopted woman who felt strongly that calling anyone but her adoptive mom "Mother" or "Mama" was wrong and confusing. After all, the adoptive mom was the one who changed her diapers, dealt with her tantrums, and did the hard work of raising her (no discredit meant to the birthmother, who made a great sacrifice on her daughter's behalf). It's such a complicated issue. Thankfully, we have at least a year to think through it.

For now, as far as William is concerned, I am "Mommy" to him. But, like all beginner talkers, "Mama" is what comes out of his mouth. Consider this: earlier today, Craig was holding William after feeding him. When William saw me enter the room, he immediately wanted out of his arms. He squirmed around, reached out for me, and pouted, "Muh-muh, Muh-muh." Perhaps I'm deceiving myself, but I do believe our little boy said his first word today, and I do believe it was my name.

Sorry, Craig. Your day of glory will also come.

Lucy, Come Home!

2008-04-05T22:07:00.001-04:00

After getting matched with their child, it's anyone's guess as to how long a family must wait before receiving a travel date to bring their child home.

If you hit the jackpot as we did, you'll wait under two months. If you're like most families, it might take 4-6 months. If, for some incomprehensible, frustrating reason, you're like Jackie's family, you'll wait 6 months after getting matched and still be waiting to have your case logged into the courts, facing several months' wait after that.

Having seen their daughter, Lucy, at St. Lucy's when we picked up William, I can tell you she is the very definition of precious. Take a look at the piece above. Lucy's talented dad wrote and performed the song and edited the video.

After seeing the video, I think you'll also be moved to send up a prayer to bring Lucy home immediately.

Like Birthmother, Like Son

2008-04-04T11:39:00.000-04:00

One of the things we know about William's birthmother is that she likes to listen to music. The more we learn about William, the more we're beginning to wonder if that interest might also be passed on to him.

One of his favorite things to do is to "play" our piano. But unlike some kids his age who are content to just bang away, he also likes to sit still on my lap for a long periods of time and listen to me play. It's a little tricky because his pudgy hands will rest on the keyboard's middle register, causing the music to come out a bit stilted. Still, it's a fun way to pass the time.

The other day, I was plunking out some chords on the guitar while he sat rapt on the carpet in front of me. The second I started playing "Jesus Loves Me," the song I sing when I put him to sleep, a look of immediate recognition flashed across his face and he let out a big screech.

We've quickly figured out that playing music is a surefire way to distract him or to calm him down. We keep a musical seahorse toy near our bathroom so we can buy a few mintues to brush our teeth. And nothing can soothe him when he gets fussy in the car like listening to children's music. Right now, we're working through a 2-disc collection of Chinese kids' songs that we purchased at the Eslite bookstore while in Taipei (a post on that to follow).

Our music lover is also a mover and a shaker. Take a look at the video below:

10 points to anyone who can correctly identify the creepy, wiggly, blue thing.

Month One

2008-04-03T21:39:00.000-04:00

It's a trite saying, but it really is true: time does fly when you're having fun. These last 31 days that William has been part of our family have gone by relatively quickly, and with every one of them, we've fallen more and more in love with our little prince.

We love the ferocity with which he pounces upon Cheerios placed on his highchair tray; if you don't move your fingers out of the way quickly enough, he'd seize them, too.

We love his black hair and brown eyebrows, his pointy ears, his jowl-like cheeks, and his disproportionately small feet. Somehow, all of these things come together to make one astoundingly cute baby.

We love how the same pants that once hung loose on his older brother look like leggings when he wears them.

We love how the first round of peekaboo can send him into outrageous peals of laughter just as intensely as the twelfth round.

We love how his pudgy little body is just the right size to hold in our arms.

We love the sweet baby smell that he emanantes, a combination of drool, infant shampoo, and that mysterious eau de bebe that disappears at the onset of toddlerhood.

We love the recklessness with which he splashes in the bathtub, spraying water all over the kitchen counter and floor. We don't love cleaning up the sopping mess.

We love the clear, sweet sound of his voice as he babbles and coos.

We love how he giggles every time we struggle to hoist his infant carseat into its base in our car. Clearly, he's the only one who thinks it's funny.

We love the way he greets us when he hasn't seen us in a while; you'd think he had won the baby lottery and landed an endless supply of warm bottles, soft blankets, and dry diapers.

Most of all, we just love him.

Bond, Baby, Bond!

2008-04-02T16:31:00.000-04:00

From what I'm gathering, one of the deepest fears of many adoptive parents is that their child will not "bond" to them. What if their child never expresses any filial affection for his new family? Worse yet, what if their child turns out to be angry at his parents for adopting him, expressing his bitterness in ways that are damaging to both himself and the family?

As we approach the first month of our being his new parents, it's difficult to say with 100% certainty that William has bonded to us. He's not mobile enough to come running to us if he is scared, a sign that he trusts us to comfort him. Sure, he can slither as you may have seen in a previous post's video, but he's not that motivated a crawler. He's also not vocal enough to be able to call out for us if he needs us. Does he smile at us or look happy to be around us? Yes. But then again, he'll smile for anyone who plays peek-a-boo with him. As the caretakers at St. Lucy's noted, it is not hard to get him to laugh.

On the other hand, when I first see him in the morning, the smile that he flashes is so wide and intense it forces his eyes shut. When Craig comes home from work, William flaps his arms wildly and screeches in glee. Even Andrew is sometimes greeted with laughter when we pick him up from school, pretty good for a kid whose exuberance can sometimes frighten young children into tears.

Also, when we step out of the room for a moment, leaving William in the Exersaucer, we know we have about 10 seconds before he starts fussing. Ever tried going to the bathroom in 10 seconds? Not fun. But on the bright side, perhaps this is separation anxiety setting in, healthy in that it shows William knows we are his caretakers and is unwilling to be apart from us.

Time will tell, but for now, I'm not concerned. We're making good progress at developing a healthy attachment and that's all we can ask for. Oh - and William's massive Kool-Aid Man grins don't hurt, either.

Datahead

2008-04-01T20:33:00.000-04:00

When I took William to the adoption clinic at CHOP, I brought along a folder containing copies of all of William's medical records. At one point, while sorting through the papers, the doctor started laughing loudly and asked incredulously, "What is THIS?"

I looked up from the floor mat where I was playing with William and blanched to see that the following had slipped into the folder:

These frighteningly detailed Excel spreadsheets and charts come courtesy of my dear husband. Mash together a BS in Engineering and and MBA and you get output like this.

We were fairly diligent about keeping up with the data entry for the first two weeks after we came home from Taiwan. Now that we've got a better handle on his feeding, sleeping, and pooping, we've let the effort drop. One day when William is older, the charts will be fun to look back on. Already, I find it interesting to look back on some of the details and to see how much things have changed in just a week or two, some things for the better, some, well... we're working on those.

Speaking of the most beautiful baby in the world, his onesie in the picture below doesn't read, "I (heart) her onion." Properly straightened out, it says, "I (heart) Cooper Union," Craig's alma mater and America's best kept secret. For those who don't know, Cooper Union is the only school in the nation that offers engineering, arts, and architecture majors an Ivy League-quality education - all tuition-free.

Guess where we're pushing for our boys to go to college?

By Any Means Necessary

2008-03-31T20:49:00.000-04:00

"Arrrgh, mateys! I will indeed pick out the Cheerio that lodged itself next to my new, fifth tooth."

Lose 5 Pounds in 10 Days!

2008-03-31T11:00:00.000-04:00

Too good to be true? Just try this not-so-simple 7-step plan for yourself:

1) Develop a nasty cold 10 days prior to traveling to Taiwan. Experience a decrease in appetite because you are too busy packing and taking care of last-minute details and unexpected paperwork.

2) Come down with a stomach flu 5 days prior to travel.

3) Undergo severe jetlag and sleep when you're normally accustomed to eating.

4) Spend 6 days living in a country in which portion sizes are smaller and the food is healthier overall.

5) Carry a 21 lb. baby everywhere you go.

6) Experience more jetlag upon your return to your homeland. Once again, you'll be too tired to eat. Those deep, dark circles forming under your eyes will give that emaciated waif look to accompany the pounds you are rapidly shedding.

7) Feed said 21 lb. baby with your better hand while attempting to feed yourself with your less-dextrous hand. Use the latter hand to constantly wipe up food you keeping dropping on your pants and discover that you've only taken 3 bites of cold food the whole dinnertime.

Next, I'll share with you how to gain back the 5 lbs. you've dropped. It starts by consuming too many peanut M&Ms, a weakness I seem to develop every time I'm "post-partum."

Making a Rule, Breaking It Twice

2008-03-30T18:14:00.001-04:00

As I mentioned before, William often goes down for naps crying. There are occasional, blissful moments when he falls asleep in our arms while we are carrying him around, but those are few and far in between. Crying after being placed in his crib to sleep has been the norm.

Adoptive parents out there probably read these words with shock and horror. "You let your child cry it out in order to fall asleep?!" After all, research shows that doing so does not promote the best adoptive child-parent attachment. Building trust in the early months is the goal of every adoptive family and not responding to a child immediately after s/he cries is arguably one way to engender distrust.

With Andrew, Craig and I took a CIO (cry-it-out) approach. The boy couldn't fall asleep unassisted without loud wailing. Yet, any attempts to soothe him only over-stimulated him and made him cry even harder. In the beginning of our CIO attempts, he'd cry for 45 minutes to an hour, hardly happy listening for anyone, especially a first-time parent. Thankfully, the exercise eventually paid off and he learned to fall asleep on his own without a whimper. His improved sleep definitely paid off in the happier child he became when awake.

With William, we initially took a firm anti-CIO stance. There are so many things out of our control as parents, especially as adoptive parents, that we wanted to make sure we did everything we could to promote healthy bonding. However, we've had to bend that rule a bit. We've noticed that when William starts to cry, all the rocking, shushing, swaying, and singing in the world often seems to work against his falling asleep; he just cries louder.

In addition, we want him to learn how to fall asleep on his own, awake but drowsy. This is something the adoptive medicine pediatricians at CHOP stressed. So, into the crib he goes, crying or not. If he does the "Ehhhh... I'm sleepy" cry, we leave him be. If he goes off on a full-throttle, "I can't stop myself from crying" wail, we pick him up, walk him around a bit, then put him down, even if he's still crying. We sit in the rocking chair next to his crib so he can see us if he chooses to lift his head above the crib bumper. We also try to reassure him with words, though oftentimes he can't hear us if he's crying. Our CHOP doctors are supportive of our methods.

Still, to listen to your child cry and to consciously not do anything to assuage him is a horrible, horrible experience. Sometimes when William is crying, I put on Andrew's lawnmower headphones (he's quite sensitive to noise) to take the edge off the piercing cries. It's slightly more tolerable that way. And happily, the crying has decreased over time; whereas we would sometimes get about 15 minutes of crying (I know some parents, especially biological ones, would say this is hardly a lot), we're down to just a few minutes or even none at all.

There are those who would accuse me of being a terrible mother for letting this happen. However, I am a firm believer in the necessity of sleep, both for the child and for the parent. We both need to be well-rested in order to deal patiently, lovingly, and joyfully with one another. And in the end, isn't a home where patience, love, and joy thrive the best environment in which to grow a trusting child?

Bring in da Noise, Bring in da Sleep

2008-03-29T18:11:00.000-04:00

Hissssssssssssssssssss..... "What's that? I can't hear you - " Hissssssssssss........ "You're breaking up. There's too much static - " Hissssssssssssss........

No, that would be the sound of the white noise machine we bought for William's nursery earlier today. Based on the suggestion of the OT at CHOP's adoptive medicine clinic, we purchased one with the hopes that it would help him sleep better.

While he did shift to sleeping on Eastern Standard Time 10 days after coming home from Taiwan, William continues to have problems staying asleep during naptimes and at night. Naps are often cut short at about 30 minutes, occasionally longer, often less. Many times he wakes up crying. (Of course, it doesn't help that many of his naps are taken in the car while I'm driving Andrew to and from school, a 22 minute drive one-way).

At night, William continues to cry sproradically. Most of the time, he doesn't fully rouse, but the crying will escalate in volume and threaten to awake everyone in the house if we don't pick him up and walk him around his room. He usually returns to sleep afterwards, though once in a while he'll be up for an hour or more wanting to play. When we first returned from Taiwan, this would happen between 4-8 times a night. Lately, the average has dropped to about 2-3 rousings per night.

We don't know for sure what is causing these disturbances. We could blame them on the itchy rashes, which, with the exception of a flareup yesterday, have abated (thank you, God). They could be caused by the still-unfamiliar environment and the stress from all the upheaval he has endured recently.

Whatever the cause, he is not getting good quality sleep, a problem that can be pretty far-reaching towards many aspects of his waking day. We know this because we, as the adults who constantly get out of bed to attend to him, are also feeling the effects of disrupted sleep.

Based upon the glowing reviews given by similar, sleepless families, we decided to splurge the $69.00 it cost to buy the noisy, little machine above at Brookstone. Currently, the machine is set for "driving" mode, gently churning out the sound of motors revving along a highway. (Other modes include "white noise," "prenatal," "lullaby," "dolphins," and "heartbeat.") I nearly fell asleep listening to the humming, but then again, if you know me and my ability to nod off in moving cars, this would come as no shock.

The early response has been positive. During his late afternoon nap, William went down without crying (more on this in a later post). When I put him down to sleep for the night, he stayed awake for at least half an hour before falling asleep. He has never laid in his crib for more than a few minutes without crying, so the fact that he only let out a few whimpers is pretty amazing.

The next 8 hours will be the true test: if William manages to sleep through the night without crying, I'm shredding the receipt, throwing out the box, and buying one of these puppies for every expectant parent I know.

Good Tidings via Snail Mail

2008-03-29T08:36:00.000-04:00

Yay! The first batch of our adoption announcements are ready to be sent out via snail mail today.

I went to our usual standby, kodakgallery.com and ordered a tri-fold on sturdy cardstock with two pictures of William printed in it (you can see a preview of the cover to the left). I was able to customize the front cover and the message inside.

Unfortunately, the pictures printed out much darker than the originals. I could have returned them and had them re-printed, but a) I wanted to get the announcements out on the sooner side, b) it would have been a royal waste of paper.

So, those of you on our mailing list will soon receive announcements with cloudy pictures of our new son. Murky photos or not, we're still proud parents who are thrilled to herald the arrival of our beautiful baby.

"Growing Beautifully"

2008-03-26T15:58:00.000-04:00

This morning, I took William back into Philadelphia for his appointment with the International Adoption Clinic at CHOP. In light of all of our recent, rushed doctors' visits, today's encounter was a breath of fresh air. We met with three professionals: two pediatricians and an occupational therapist. They spent a luxurious amount of time with us, asking and answering questions and evaluating William.

We started off by taking some basic measurements. According to their figures, William still remains in the 90th percentile for height and is in the 90th for weight (the local pediatrician's figure put him in the 75th percentile. Go figure. Our boy must have done a ton of growing in the last 7 days.)

Next came the OT evaluation. The therapist let William crawl around on a colorful gymnastics mat and observed his gross and fine motor skills. She pulled various toys out of her traveling box and subtly tested his ability to manipulate them. She even enticed him with Cheerios - his first! - to test his manual dexterity.

At the end of that round, she determined that his gross motor skills are in the range of the average 7 month-old, not too far off since he just turned 8 months-old. He has already made a good deal of progress in the three weeks that he has been with us. (You can see that in the picture below, he is starting to get more comfortable on all-fours, a position he has recently begun assuming every now and then.)

The OT also noted that his fine motor skills are right on track for his age and that his visual motor integration is in the range of an 8 to 9 month-old. When all was said and done, she glowed with praise at how easy and fun it was to work with William. I guess she must see a lot of tough cookies.

Next came the physical evaluation. Overall, everything looked fine. There are a few things that we need to follow up on, including William's clogged tear duct. This may require intervention if it doesn't improve over the next several months. However, on the whole, the pediatricians were very impressed with William's health and remarked that he was "growing beautifully." They also gave kudos to Taiwan's adoption programs for supplying such a relative wealth of information about their adoptive children.

Unfortunately, we ended the day on a sour note. Blood work. Poor William had to have 5 vials and one syringe of blood collected. It's hard to imagine that such a little guy could have so much blood in his body! Thankfully, he didn't even notice when the first needle went into his arm; so busy was he munching on his surfboard rice cracker that I conveniently whipped out just as the needle went into his arm (these crackers are priceless!).

Then the technician began moving the needle to get a better blood flow. That's when William's clogged tear duct magically unclogged itself and unleashed a torrent of tears. Our poor baby sobbed inconsolably as the technician wiggled and jiggled that needle numerous times. Then, to make matters worse, she stuck his other arm to try to get more blood. William probably thought I was evil for restraining him while some stranger tortured him with needles, sucking the lifeblood out of him. It didn't help that all of this took place during what should have been his naptime.

In the end, all was forgiven. William fell asleep in the car on the way to pick Andrew up from school. After tearing through his bottle feeding after waking, he rewarded me with some oh-so-cute smiles.

Whew. I'm happy to report that we are all done with our marathon of doctors' visits, at least for the next three weeks. I can only imagine that William feels the same way.

Learn to Speak Chinese

2008-03-25T20:05:00.000-04:00

If you haven't figured it out by now, I am a terrible Chinese speaker. In fact, my mother is fond of telling other people that, of her four daughters, my Mandarin is the worst.

I was raised in a home where Chinese, Taiwanese, and English were spoken interchangeably. Through a combination of rebellion, shame at being different, and laziness, I wound up speaking English and only retained a smattering of Chinese. The latter comes out very mangled with bad syntax and an occasional Southern accent slipping in. Craig claims he can speak better Chinese than I.

Like it or not, I have raised Andrew to speak English. He knows bits and pieces of domestic Chinese - "time to eat," "brush your teeth." However, teaching him Chinese was a very conscious effort on my part that seldom seemed to happen. What a loss.

On the other hand, with William, I find myself speaking about 70% Chinese and 30% English. What little Chinese I've retained has mostly sufficed. After all, I don't need to - I can't - converse about politics with an 8 month-old child. Our conversations mostly run the range of "Let's go downstairs," "Put your arm into your jacket," or "Did you make a poop? I can smell something."

Because William hails from a solely Chinese-speaking environment, I'm hoping that hearing Chinese from me will make his transition easier. Oddly enough, there is not much of a conscious effort this time around; most of the words just slip out. Sometimes they're mispronounced, but at least it's something.