City of Brotherly Love

O.K., since we don't live in Philadelphia proper, the title of this post is not quite apropos. "Suburb of Brotherly Love" just didn't have a very good ring to it.

At any rate, one of the things that has been a joy to observe is how well Andrew has stepped up to his new role as a big brother. His transformation is yet another way in which I can see the hand of God working out and weaving together all the complex story lines of William's adoption.

It should be noted that just two years ago, Andrew was a child who would go into tearful hysterics if I picked up someone else's baby. "Jealous" is too weak a word to describe his reaction. However, I'm thrilled to report that he has really come around.

Andrew has been very helpful, offering to pick up the toys that William drops, asking how he can assist when I diaper and feed his brother, suggesting toys that he thinks William would enjoy. When William starts groping his brother's face, clothes, and hair, Andrew sits very still and doesn't balk. When I tell him that I have to go put his Didi down to sleep, he doesn't whine about being left alone. On a few occasions, I have even caught him leaning down toward William and whispering, "I love you, little brother."

In the picture below, he is very gently pushing William in his first swing ride.

For his part, William adores Andrew. His face lights up when Andrew comes close. I imagine that coming from the busy, crowded environment of St. Lucy's to our home must be a jarring change. It must be of some comfort to him to have someone closer to his size. Ordinarily, Andrew's frantic antics, loud shrieks, and high energy level would scare most babies William's age. (Most moms who claim they have an active child usually end up eating their words once they see Andrew in his true element.) However, for better or for worse, I think orphanage life has toughened William up to endure his big brother's zaniness with remarkable nonchalance.

It's funny, but now that we're home with William, Andrew seems twice as old as he actually is. (Those of you with multiple children are probably nodding your heads and thinking, "Uh-huh. That's how it is.") When Andrew first ran into my arms after our being apart for 7 days, I couldn't believe how tall and solid he felt. I had become so accustomed to schlepping around William and his 20+ pound package of squishy pudge in the days before. Picking up Andrew was like trying to hoist an I-beam. Next to William and his rightfully baby-ish ways, Andrew also seemed to have matured by years since we left him.

Here's something cute: below are a few pictures that Andrew and his Pre-K classmates drew to celebrate William's homecoming. The teacher, Mrs. Tees, and her aide, Mrs. Meilahn, were so thoughtful in helping Andrew make it through our week-long absence. They declared one day of school as "Happy Little Brother Day." The students all drew pictures of William. All the excitement the teachers and students showed must have really helped him look forward to becoming a big brother.












While I never thought I'd say so, jetlag has been a blessing in disguise when it comes to the boys' tolerance of one another and our bonding with William. We've been able to spend time with Andrew during the day when William has his long stretch of "night sleep." We've also gotten one-on-one time with William at night when he wakes. (If you do the math, you'll quickly realize that this leaves us short-changed on sleep.) Still, neither child has had to feel lacking in parental affection. The true test of their patience with each other will come next week when I am all alone with both boys. Andrew has the week off of school for spring break, Craig's parents returned to New Mexico yesterday, and Craig himself heads back to work early tomorrow morning.

Dear readers, the rubber is about to hit the road. Stay tuned to see if we all survive.