Creepycrunchystinkyyummy

Don't tell the social worker who's due to come next weekend for our 2 month post-placement visit. She doesn't need to know that I let William eat a stinkbug.

Well, actually, I didn't let him. He was amusing himself so nicely in a corner of the playroom while I helped Andrew assemble his pirate ship. When I turned around to look at William, he was smiling at me, mouth open. I saw the flash of something brown inside his mouth. It looked vaguely like a stinkbug, the sort of which we get inside of our house this time of year. But no, it couldn't be. Not in his mouth.

Eh, heh, heh... upon closer inspection, indeed it was. Thankfully, William hadn't crunched down on it yet, so I was able to sweep it out of his mouth quickly. Apparently, he must have put his developing pincer grasp to good use, finding the dead bug on the floor and maneuvering it into his mouth.

Just in case you're wondering, my award for most oblivious parent arrived in the mail yesterday.

Picture Perfect

Thanks to Deborah, we received back the autographable matte to a picture frame we'd like to hang in William's nursery. I had planned to to bring the matte with us to Taiwan so that the St. Lucy's staff could sign it. Unfortunately, I forgot to throw it into our jam-packed suitcase at the last moment. Supermom that she is, Deborah was gracious enough to bring it with her on her special day when she picked up her son, Alex.

I'm glad that many of the ladies took the time to sign the matte. It's a bit surreal to have specific names to associate with the mysterious group of women who spent so many months caring for William. Regrettably, in the photo below, I omitted the upper right hand part that bears my favorite message from a woman named Diana. She wrote, "Miss You, Love You."

Deborah also mailed us a video camera and a disposable camera that we had sent in William's last care package. Sister Rosa at St. Lucy's told us they didn't use them since we were due to arrive so soon after they received the package. I'm amazed that the ladies kept the cameras and thought to send them back with Deborah. It's impressive how well they manage to keep tabs on the children and their future families.

So, what's going to go inside of the frame? While at St. Lucy's, we asked the caretakers if we could take a picture of them with William so that he could remember the women who lavished him with so much love and good care. When I showed that photo to William a few weeks ago, he let out a happy screech and flapped his hands up and down. Did he recognize the women? It's anyone's guess, but one might think so.

Unfortunately, I can't post that picture since our agency has rules against showing the caretakers' faces on blogs. However, I can show you something just as good: the most beautiful baby in the world.

Smile!

All's Well that Ends Well

I could be wrong, but I think William is in the process of dropping his third, late-afternoon nap. He's right at the age when this should be happening. When 4:30 rolls around, he's tired but unable to fall asleep. As you might deduce, it's a challenging time of day.

This afternoon, I changed him into his pajamas around 5:30 p.m. then tried to stretch him to a bedtime of 6:30 p.m. The first 45 minutes were rough going. At least we ended the last 15 minutes of the day well. William banged away happily on an electric keyboard and dove after my camera as I tried to snap pictures of him.

William vs. Nature, Round 2

Has William finally overcome his fear of plants? You be the judge.

Swing Low, Sweet William

William's not half the motion junkie that his older brother Andrew is, but he can still appreciate a good swing ride. Below are some pictures of him in the tree swing behind our house.

Adopting - Again.

Now that we've adopted William from Taiwan, we've decided to adopt him once again in the United States.

We brought William home on an IR-4 visa, not having seen him prior to picking him up. As a result of his visa classification, we need to complete more paperwork and participate in a re-adoption hearing with a local judge. Doing so will enable him to have a Pennsylvania birth certificate, necessary for so many important filings later on in his life.

In addition, because we need to file a name change on his behalf (his Taiwanese visa only lists his given Chinese name), I'm told by our county courthouse's adoption unit that we need to hire an attorney. I could be misinformed, but apparently this is something that the average layperson cannot do.

Initially, I was under the impression that the attorneys' fees would run somewhere in the $300.00 range, a price that someone on a Pennsylvania online adoption group had estimated. However, when I interviewed three lawyers who have handled a good number of re-adoption cases, I learned that their fees range anywhere between $750.00 to $1,500.00. Ai-yo!

At this point, if you haven't guessed, we're a wee bit tired of cracking wide our wallets and dealing with paperwork. However, if this is what it takes to ensure our son won't hit any snafus with identity, citizenship, or who knows what later in life, I guess we'll just need to suck it up and forge ahead.

Boy in a Bubble

It's not all smiles all the time with William. Here are a couple of photographs from earlier. Andrew was outside testing a giant bubble blowing wand (thanks, Auntie Jenny and Uncle Paul) while William looked on cautiously from his stroller.

"Those mysterious, wiggly blobs - friends or foes?"

9 Months Old

Excuse me - have you seen the last 30 days? They went by so quickly that the next thing I knew, our precious baby turned 9 months old.

Open Wide and Say "Bu Yao Zhua!"

William has certainly had his fill of dentists' offices lately. Yesterday, he got dragged along on Andrew's visit. This morning, he came with me to my dentist.

He did quite well sitting in his stroller for the first 10 minutes while the hygienist took x-rays of my mouth and scraped my teeth with that nails-on-chalkboard picky tool. Surfboard crackers, work your magic!

Unfortunately, once the crackers were gone, he started to get fussy. At the same time, the dentist entered to begin the examination. Hearing William's grumping, the receptionist, the hygienist, and the dental assistant all flocked into the tiny room to try to calm him down. I didn't feel like giving them the "He's newly adopted and as the parent, I really ought to be the one to handle the soothing so that he can build trust and see me as his perpetual caregiver, yadda, yadda, yadda" speech.

So, I plucked him out of his stroller, smiled sweetly at the well-intentioned ladies, and resumed the exam with William sitting on my stomach. At first, he amused himself with my Dixie rinse cup, then he started batting at all the surrounding dental appliances. I did my best to pry his eager hands off all the wires and tools while trying to lie still with my mouth open. Thankfully, my teeth were problem-free and the dentist was done with his review in less than two minutes.

Whew. I'll have to remember to brush and floss well so that next time's visit will also be a quick one. It's a good thing we won't have to return for another 6 months.

(Speaking of teeth, Mr. William now has two more pearly whites breaking through his top gums. He is quickly on his way to losing that baby beaver look. In just 4 more months, he'll either be reclining compliantly or screaming bloody murder in the dentist's chair himself.)

The Relative Parade

Incoming slide show - duck!

As children of immigrants, my sisters and I grew up fairly isolated from the rest of our relatives, 99% of whom still remain in Taiwan. I've observed the rapport Craig has had with his grandparents and extended family and a part of me is envious that I missed out on not knowing my (very large) set of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews. I met many of them for the first time when we visited Taiwan last month.

Thankfully, William will get to grow up in the company of extended family. While many of our parents and siblings are scattered along the East Coast and the Southwest, he does have three uncles and three aunts within reasonable driving distance of our home. The ones who are further out also make a point to visit a few times a year.

While we were initially apprehensive about how our families would accept the adoption, we've come to realize that our fears were unfounded. William may not be biological, but you'd never know it from the love his new family members have showered upon him.

Everything But the Manual

Thanks to Sarah W., who clued me into the wonderful world of blog slide galleries, I'm going to begin inundating you with more slideshows than you can shake a stick at. Take cover!

Below are photos of the contents of the blue tote bag we received from St. Lucy's Center on pickup day. One of my favorite items is the scrapbook containing pictures of William, well-wishes from the caretakers, and pages handpainted by one of the ladies.

The only items not pictured are the health records booklet and the one-page form containing information on caring for William. The latter is the closest thing we'll ever receive to a manual on our child.

What? Don't all kids come with a care manual or a set of instructions?

More Happy Endings

A very big congratulations to Deborah and her family. Sometime within the last 24 hours, she picked up her son, Alex, from St. Lucy's Center. You can read all about their special day on their blog.

We had the opportunity to meet Alex ourselves when we toured the nursery. I told him that Mommy and Daddy were coming to bring him home soon. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait much longer. Now, come on, Tainan judge: push those papers and get William's 20 other roomates home quickly!

Ding Ding Pharmacy

For those families with children at St. Lucy's Center who might find themselves searching high and low for extra Snow formula, hopefully the following will help.

Thanks to my cousin Piers and his family, we discovered Ding Ding Pharmacy in Kaoshiung. It's a pharmacy in a rather un-American sense, mostly full of baby gear and cosmetic products. We bought two jumbo-sized cans of Snow that served us very well for the next few weeks after picking up William. We also purchased a variety of pacifiers, a few of which somewhat resemble the ones used at St. Lucy's.

Dorks that we are, we saved the plastic bag from our purchase. We showed it to the front desk staffer at The Agora Garden Hotel and asked her to call to find out if Ding Ding had a location in Taipei. Indeed they do. We didn't have time to stop by, but in case you'd like to try, on the bottom right is the "taxi card" she drafted for us. You may want to call ahead and make sure the Taipei store carries Snow (the phone number is on the bottom of the bag on the left.)

Last Camera Standing

Of the three disposable cameras we sent to St. Lucy's Center in William's care packages, only one came back with usable pictures. Thankfully, the photographer(s) turned on the flash for most of the photos. There are about 8 more pictures that I didn't include in the slideshow below since they include images of other children.

My best guess is that these pictures were taken some time in January 2008, roughly around the time that William likely switched from the infant nursery to the older baby facility. You can see that he moves from a large, white crib to a beige-colored crib. You can also see some of the items we sent him in one of his care packages, conspicuously displayed for his eager parents, no doubt.

We're thankful that the caretakers took the time out of their busy jobs to snap these photos for us. While we would have loved to have gone 3 for 3 with the disposable cameras, we're thrilled to have whatever we can get from this period of his life in which we were apart.

When We Last Left Off...

... William had a bad case of eczema and hives. We've had three small outbreaks since then, but overall, his skin has cleared.

... he was waking several times throughout the night, crying. His wakings have reduced to once a night or none at all. Perhaps the white noise machine has helped, but that's speculative. It could just be that he's getting more used to his new life. He sleeps from about 6:45 p.m. to 5:45-ish. His napping still continues to be erratic.

... he showed little interest in reading books. We are making great strides in this area. His two favorite books are Where Is Baby's Belly Button (he loves a good game of peek-a-boo) and Happy Baby Animals. We've intentionally kept the selection limited so he's not overwhelmed by too many different titles. He's also learned to let his arms go limp when we need to strap him into his carseat or highchair.

... he was gulping down formula like it was going out of manufacture. The other day, we clocked him downing 7 ounces in a minute and a half - and that with a congested nose. His overall consumption, however, has decreased. He also shows less interest than he initially did in eating solids. Perhaps he's learning that he doesn't have to make the choice between vacuum cleaning food or going hungry.

... he was running a low-grade fever with heavy congestion. The fever has since abated, but the nasal and chest congestion remain. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to go into the church nursery today where Craig was due to volunteer. (Speaking of the nursery, the staff at the CHOP adoption clinic recommend that we wait 4 more months before placing him there or in any other institution-like setting. Unlike routine daycare, there is too much time in between visits, his memory too short at this age, his attachment to us still too tenuous for him to risk being placed in a potentially scary environment without us.)

From the looks of it, we may be on the verge of our first whole family contagion. It's hard not to catch germs from a baby who shamelessly sneezes in our faces and has a runny nose we wipe with whatever is around, our own shirt sleeves not excluded. I know I've definitely caught something. Craig is not feeling too spectacular himself, and Andrew certainly sounds congested. But hey - we're a family. Share the germs, share the love.

For Your Information

While in Taiwan, we ran across some charming signs posted in public areas. Here are a few, which I'm just now getting around to posting:

"Which one are you?"

(A sign next to the elevator at the Zuoying High-Speed Rail station)

"Just make sure you know who your fellow passenger is first."
(A sign near the parking lot at the Zuoying High-Speed Rail station)

Spoiled

Yup. That's us. For the last five and a half weeks, we have been spoiled rotten by family and friends who have rallied to our aid during this busier season of our lives.

While we were gone in Taiwan picking up William, Craig's parents ran a shuttle service to and from Andrew's school, made sure he was bathed and brushed, and played endless games of coyote with him. Craig's siblings also came by to give them a break whenever they needed a boost. The week we came back, they babysat Andrew while we battled jetlag. They also helped babyproof our house and put dinner on the table every night.

For the next three weeks, members of our church brought delicious dinners by almost every other day. Their selfless service gave me a break from having to cook dinner while simultaneously wrangling two kids. I realize that much mud has been flung at the Christian church over the last few decades, much of it rightfully deserved. However, when the church does come together and functions as designed, it truly is a beautiful thing. We've certainly experienced this first hand.

Not only were my parents instrumental in shepherding us around Taiwan and translating ad nauseam, they provided four extra hands to hold and entertain William when we really needed them. This week they left their home state of Virginia and came up to help babysit, cook, take out trash, and help out in countless other ways. Their timing couldn't have been better with William under the weather and myself as tired as an old dog.

So, on behalf of Craig, Andrew, William, and myself, a big thanks to all of you who have come together on our behalves. With your assistance, we have managed to soldier through what would have otherwise been a pretty rocky transition period.

And thanks to you, I have forgotten how to cook.

Sick and Tired

Those words aptly describe William's day.

Yesterday, he came down with a cold. Today, he developed a low-grade fever and woke up early, flaming hot, his nose clogged with yellow snot. The congestion made it hard for him to feed. Much of what he did drink wound up thrown up into his bib (go, Baby Bjorn bib!). That same stuffed nose was probably also to blame for his inability to nap longer than 15 minutes at a time. The end result was a baby who was tired, cranky, and definitely not his typical smiley self.

Here's to a better tomorrow.

Building Families, Two Continents at a Time

When I think of our adoption on an eternal scale, I often imagine God standing in front of a big map of the world. He is inserting pushpins into different locations all over the map and connecting one to another with a piece of yarn. Each pin represents a set of individuals whose lives have been joined together by the miracle of adoption.

In reality, God is not as behind the times with his technology as I imagine. The One who created the world in 6 days can surely do much better than to wrangle pushpins and yarn. My limited imagination aside, I find it so interesting to ponder how two sets of people previously unknown to one another can come together and form a beautiful bond, no biological stimulant needed. Surely the hands of God are actively at work in their lives.

Consider the picture below: in it is William and his new friend, Anant. Anant was adopted from India by our friends from church, Rob and Mary. They picked him up just a few days before we met William in Taiwan. Imagine that: two boys from countries so many miles apart winding up in the same part of the world just 15 miles of each other. It astounds me.


Here's yet another thing that blows my mind: Anant, who celebrates his 2nd birthday today (happy birthday, sweetie!), is just one pound heavier than 8 month-old William. What can I say? We have a Costco-sized baby.

Nature Non-Lover

With spring in full swing, we thought we'd capitalize upon the annual daffodil explosion in our backyard and take some pictures of William. We never figured that he'd be wary of close encounters with plants. Take a look:

We finally got a semi-decent flower shot by making a compromise. If William wouldn't go to the daffodils, a lone daffodil would have to come to him.

For anyone who wonders, it's worth mentioning that St. Lucy's does have a very lovely courtyard garden, thanks to the hard work of some volunteers from our agency who traveled over to help with renovations a little over a year ago. I'm not sure how much opportunity William and the other babies had to go outside. No doubt, the caretakers had their hands full just changing diapers, wiping noses, and feeding child after child.





If you look carefully at the picture to the left, you can see the windows of the nursery where William used to live. The nursery is on the ground floor to the left of the tall, spirally tree. William's crib was right in front of one of the windows. It's nice to know he had a garden view during his time there.

Making a Name for Yourself

If I am confused by what name I should be calling myself in William's presence, chances are, he's equally confused by all the names I am calling him. He is "William," "Szu-Chuan," "Didi," "Baby," "Baobei," "Chuan-Chuan," and "Chuan-Geh."

The last name, "Chuan-Geh" is the nickname the caretakers at St. Lucy's gave him. It's a combination of the latter part of his first name, Szu-Chuan, combined with a piece of "Geh-Geh" ("brother" in Mandarin Chinese). If you put it all together, "Chuan-Geh" amounts to something like "Little Brother Chuan."

The day we picked up William from St. Lucy's, two other families were also there to get their children. Their babies' nicknames seemed to follow a similar formula:

(latter half of the first name) + "Geh" (for boys) or "Mei" (for girls) = nickname

If you want to soup it up a bit more, try this alternate formula, applied to one of the children:

"Ah" + (latter half of the first name) + "Geh" (for boys) or "Mei" (for girls) = nickname

"Ah" is a sound that is sometimes appended when calling someone. In my lifetime, I've only heard it added at the end of someone's name, but I guess it must work both ways.

So following these equations, if Andrew had a St. Lucy's nickname, it would probably be "Drew-Geh" or "Ah-Drew-Geh." Using my Chinese name, mine would be "Li-Mei," or "Ah-Li-Mei." (It sounds better than "Dith-Mei" or "Ah-Dith-Mei," a variant of "Judith.")

How about yours?

Who's Your Mama?

One of the things I've been mulling over is how to refer to myself in William's presence. Should I call myself "Mama" - the Mandarin word for "mother"? The word slips out so effortlessly when I speak to him in Chinese. Should I call myself, "Mommy," the name I use when speaking with Andrew?

I've decided to make a conscious effort to refer to myself as the latter. Here's why: having spent 9 months in the womb of another woman who has likely referred to herself as "Mama" and having been visited by her several times while at St. Lucy's, William could very likely be confused when hearing another woman call herself the same name. It is a special word fraught with so much meaning that to call myself the same thing would be a crime of sorts. So, "Mommy" it is.

The trickier thing is how we will refer to his birthmother when he is of age to discuss her. Right now, I'm leaning toward calling her by her first name+"Mama," sort of a cutesy-sweet way of referring to a mother in Chinese. However, even that is controversial. I remember reading a post by an adopted woman who felt strongly that calling anyone but her adoptive mom "Mother" or "Mama" was wrong and confusing. After all, the adoptive mom was the one who changed her diapers, dealt with her tantrums, and did the hard work of raising her (no discredit meant to the birthmother, who made a great sacrifice on her daughter's behalf). It's such a complicated issue. Thankfully, we have at least a year to think through it.

For now, as far as William is concerned, I am "Mommy" to him. But, like all beginner talkers, "Mama" is what comes out of his mouth. Consider this: earlier today, Craig was holding William after feeding him. When William saw me enter the room, he immediately wanted out of his arms. He squirmed around, reached out for me, and pouted, "Muh-muh, Muh-muh." Perhaps I'm deceiving myself, but I do believe our little boy said his first word today, and I do believe it was my name.

Sorry, Craig. Your day of glory will also come.

Lucy, Come Home!

After getting matched with their child, it's anyone's guess as to how long a family must wait before receiving a travel date to bring their child home.

If you hit the jackpot as we did, you'll wait under two months. If you're like most families, it might take 4-6 months. If, for some incomprehensible, frustrating reason, you're like Jackie's family, you'll wait 6 months after getting matched and still be waiting to have your case logged into the courts, facing several months' wait after that.

Having seen their daughter, Lucy, at St. Lucy's when we picked up William, I can tell you she is the very definition of precious. Take a look at the piece above. Lucy's talented dad wrote and performed the song and edited the video.

After seeing the video, I think you'll also be moved to send up a prayer to bring Lucy home immediately.

Like Birthmother, Like Son

One of the things we know about William's birthmother is that she likes to listen to music. The more we learn about William, the more we're beginning to wonder if that interest might also be passed on to him.

One of his favorite things to do is to "play" our piano. But unlike some kids his age who are content to just bang away, he also likes to sit still on my lap for a long periods of time and listen to me play. It's a little tricky because his pudgy hands will rest on the keyboard's middle register, causing the music to come out a bit stilted. Still, it's a fun way to pass the time.

The other day, I was plunking out some chords on the guitar while he sat rapt on the carpet in front of me. The second I started playing "Jesus Loves Me," the song I sing when I put him to sleep, a look of immediate recognition flashed across his face and he let out a big screech.

We've quickly figured out that playing music is a surefire way to distract him or to calm him down. We keep a musical seahorse toy near our bathroom so we can buy a few mintues to brush our teeth. And nothing can soothe him when he gets fussy in the car like listening to children's music. Right now, we're working through a 2-disc collection of Chinese kids' songs that we purchased at the Eslite bookstore while in Taipei (a post on that to follow).

Our music lover is also a mover and a shaker. Take a look at the video below:

10 points to anyone who can correctly identify the creepy, wiggly, blue thing.

Month One

It's a trite saying, but it really is true: time does fly when you're having fun. These last 31 days that William has been part of our family have gone by relatively quickly, and with every one of them, we've fallen more and more in love with our little prince.

We love the ferocity with which he pounces upon Cheerios placed on his highchair tray; if you don't move your fingers out of the way quickly enough, he'd seize them, too.

We love his black hair and brown eyebrows, his pointy ears, his jowl-like cheeks, and his disproportionately small feet. Somehow, all of these things come together to make one astoundingly cute baby.

We love how the same pants that once hung loose on his older brother look like leggings when he wears them.

We love how the first round of peekaboo can send him into outrageous peals of laughter just as intensely as the twelfth round.

We love how his pudgy little body is just the right size to hold in our arms.

We love the sweet baby smell that he emanantes, a combination of drool, infant shampoo, and that mysterious eau de bebe that disappears at the onset of toddlerhood.

We love the recklessness with which he splashes in the bathtub, spraying water all over the kitchen counter and floor. We don't love cleaning up the sopping mess.

We love the clear, sweet sound of his voice as he babbles and coos.

We love how he giggles every time we struggle to hoist his infant carseat into its base in our car. Clearly, he's the only one who thinks it's funny.

We love the way he greets us when he hasn't seen us in a while; you'd think he had won the baby lottery and landed an endless supply of warm bottles, soft blankets, and dry diapers.

Most of all, we just love him.

Bond, Baby, Bond!

From what I'm gathering, one of the deepest fears of many adoptive parents is that their child will not "bond" to them. What if their child never expresses any filial affection for his new family? Worse yet, what if their child turns out to be angry at his parents for adopting him, expressing his bitterness in ways that are damaging to both himself and the family?

As we approach the first month of our being his new parents, it's difficult to say with 100% certainty that William has bonded to us. He's not mobile enough to come running to us if he is scared, a sign that he trusts us to comfort him. Sure, he can slither as you may have seen in a previous post's video, but he's not that motivated a crawler. He's also not vocal enough to be able to call out for us if he needs us. Does he smile at us or look happy to be around us? Yes. But then again, he'll smile for anyone who plays peek-a-boo with him. As the caretakers at St. Lucy's noted, it is not hard to get him to laugh.

On the other hand, when I first see him in the morning, the smile that he flashes is so wide and intense it forces his eyes shut. When Craig comes home from work, William flaps his arms wildly and screeches in glee. Even Andrew is sometimes greeted with laughter when we pick him up from school, pretty good for a kid whose exuberance can sometimes frighten young children into tears.

Also, when we step out of the room for a moment, leaving William in the Exersaucer, we know we have about 10 seconds before he starts fussing. Ever tried going to the bathroom in 10 seconds? Not fun. But on the bright side, perhaps this is separation anxiety setting in, healthy in that it shows William knows we are his caretakers and is unwilling to be apart from us.

Time will tell, but for now, I'm not concerned. We're making good progress at developing a healthy attachment and that's all we can ask for. Oh - and William's massive Kool-Aid Man grins don't hurt, either.

Datahead

When I took William to the adoption clinic at CHOP, I brought along a folder containing copies of all of William's medical records. At one point, while sorting through the papers, the doctor started laughing loudly and asked incredulously, "What is THIS?"

I looked up from the floor mat where I was playing with William and blanched to see that the following had slipped into the folder:


















These frighteningly detailed Excel spreadsheets and charts come courtesy of my dear husband. Mash together a BS in Engineering and and MBA and you get output like this.

We were fairly diligent about keeping up with the data entry for the first two weeks after we came home from Taiwan. Now that we've got a better handle on his feeding, sleeping, and pooping, we've let the effort drop. One day when William is older, the charts will be fun to look back on. Already, I find it interesting to look back on some of the details and to see how much things have changed in just a week or two, some things for the better, some, well... we're working on those.

Speaking of the most beautiful baby in the world, his onesie in the picture below doesn't read, "I (heart) her onion." Properly straightened out, it says, "I (heart) Cooper Union," Craig's alma mater and America's best kept secret. For those who don't know, Cooper Union is the only school in the nation that offers engineering, arts, and architecture majors an Ivy League-quality education - all tuition-free.

Guess where we're pushing for our boys to go to college?