Sometimes I get a good chuckle when I consider that I am the mother of two first-born sons. Come again? What's the likelihood of that?
You know the common stereotypes about birth order: Child #1 is motivated and bossy. #2 is both conciliatory and competetive, perhaps a rebel. #3 alternates between being an even-keeled crusader and an insecure left-out. #4 is a risk-taking dreamer who may be spoiled.
According to an article in Time Magazine, some additional distinctives of first born children include greater intelligence, an increase in height, better healthcare, and higher salaries than their subsequent siblings. Considering the unusual circumstance of both being firstborn, I wonder how much Andrew and William's firstborn identities will have an impact. To what extent will biology trump environment?
I tend to think that most of the birthorder stereotypes are environmentally driven rather than the result of genetics. Already, I find that I expect much more of Andrew simply because he is older and "should know better." Could my expectations eventually motivate him to grow into a leader? Perhaps. Will I go lax on William because he is the youngest child whom I'll want to baby continually? I hope not, but I've seen it happen repeatedly in families I've observed and realize I am not immune to the weaker tendencies of the human heart.
(Incidentally, William's adoptive status may also make me want to spoil him. According to research, many adoptive parents tend to lavish just a bit more attention on their children than biological parents. After waiting so long for their kids - in some cases, enduring the agony of infertility - and after pursuing the adoption with such purpose and having to make such proactive efforts to forge a bond, spoiling can sometimes be a side effect.)
For now, stereotypes be dashed. William appears to be going toe for toe with Andrew when it comes to both smarts and height at his age. He may even be a little taller than Andrew was at one year old. Considering he has a very tall birthgrandmother whom he resembles, he may eventually win that race. As for motivation, well, it can be hard to stop William from going after what he wants, especially when that something is food that has fallen on the floor. (Ask me sometime about the pasta salad that I spilled all over the floor this afternoon.) And as for being wealthier? If the fortune cookies have anything to do with it, Andrew will be asking William for a loan one day.
So, nature or nurture? In the end, only time will tell. I surely can't.
3 comments:
Oh can I just love on those little guys or what! Here's a peek into the bottom of the ten with my birth order. I have one sister 3 years older and one younger. The baby well... she fits in that catergory; with the older one, I've had more people tell me that I strike them as an oldest (from teachers, friends, school counselors, etc.) and my sister who is older seems like a middle! Go figure... environment can do some strange things. I wonder with mine because my son may be in the middle but he's the only boy... we'll see what happens there as well!
What adorably handsome little men! :) I love the picture!! :) and I so enjoyed reading your post!! :) Only time will tell I suppose! :)
hugs,
Tami
Noah's Mommy
www.tillGodbringsthemhome.blogspot.com
Interesting post!! I am a firstborn myself, but my younger brother has a lot of firstborn tendencies too. We're both perfectionists and very driven!
I have thought often about the tendency to spoil our adopted children. I think I will have to work hard to not spoil Owen, or be too lax with him. :)
It will be interesting to see how personalities develop with your boys!!
Rebecca
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