Bond, Baby, Bond!

From what I'm gathering, one of the deepest fears of many adoptive parents is that their child will not "bond" to them. What if their child never expresses any filial affection for his new family? Worse yet, what if their child turns out to be angry at his parents for adopting him, expressing his bitterness in ways that are damaging to both himself and the family?

As we approach the first month of our being his new parents, it's difficult to say with 100% certainty that William has bonded to us. He's not mobile enough to come running to us if he is scared, a sign that he trusts us to comfort him. Sure, he can slither as you may have seen in a previous post's video, but he's not that motivated a crawler. He's also not vocal enough to be able to call out for us if he needs us. Does he smile at us or look happy to be around us? Yes. But then again, he'll smile for anyone who plays peek-a-boo with him. As the caretakers at St. Lucy's noted, it is not hard to get him to laugh.

On the other hand, when I first see him in the morning, the smile that he flashes is so wide and intense it forces his eyes shut. When Craig comes home from work, William flaps his arms wildly and screeches in glee. Even Andrew is sometimes greeted with laughter when we pick him up from school, pretty good for a kid whose exuberance can sometimes frighten young children into tears.

Also, when we step out of the room for a moment, leaving William in the Exersaucer, we know we have about 10 seconds before he starts fussing. Ever tried going to the bathroom in 10 seconds? Not fun. But on the bright side, perhaps this is separation anxiety setting in, healthy in that it shows William knows we are his caretakers and is unwilling to be apart from us.

Time will tell, but for now, I'm not concerned. We're making good progress at developing a healthy attachment and that's all we can ask for. Oh - and William's massive Kool-Aid Man grins don't hurt, either.